Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

ZZZRanking

The last country to be judged by our panel is Belarus. Alyona Lanskaya is going to perform “Solayoh” in Malmo, let’s see how our experts feel about this one.

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5 Points

Grandpa WatermanWhen the next time i goto a Latin country i will firstly think of this when he sun is shining over with a great dance!

 

 

 

 

4 Points

Alex ChandhokUsually, the most interesting thing about Belarus each year is the debacle around their selection process, but this year there is a little bit more to talk about. Alyona has gone for some serious latin dance pop, and has managed to pull if off very well indeed. I’m not the dancing type, and I’m not a huge fan of dance pop, but this makes me want to get off my backside and flirty with the LAYDEES. The momentum stays throughout the song, and the chorus sounds very Estefan-esque. Belarus are on for a top 10 with this. Awesome.

Dark MasterInitially it would have been a zero, but luckily they changed this. I quite enjoy Solayoh. It is something that every Eurovision edition needs and it never gets old. The beat is pretty good and her English is much better here. Plus she is lucky to sing something on her language. Isn’t that what “Solayoh” is? A Belarussian English word? Quite an impression left this lady and hence she will be awarded 4 points.

 

 
Scotty Too HottyWell hello! Bite me Alyona! Seductive, sexy and sassy…shecan wear heels for me any day! Looks aside, the song is reasonably catchy butthe lyrics are not great! This is what usually happens when a country whodoesn’t speak English attempts speaking the language. At least herpronunciation is better. With a big stage performance, lots of traditionaldancers and colour – this could be a dark horse to do well! Although the lyricsdon’t reach a high standard, the overall song has some mass appeal, plus sheshould get extra points for being scorching hot!
 

 

3 Points

King Valentino XVIII remember dis woman? Were she not last year winner of the Belarussiiiiian selectiona? Ok I do now know. “ALLLLLLLLL MY LIFFFEEEEEE, I BE WAITING FOR YOUR ARMS TO HOLD ME”. Ah yes. She back again somehow perhaps with help of her husband and president of the Belarus. This song sounds very old school esc trash. Was all the rage in the 1870’s. This is a feather shaking song. The only one of the year I believe. Maybe successa for her. I quite like but no crazy for.

 

Emma MagnusonI’m sure this song was written for J-Lo back in 1999 and she rejected it. This girl is singing in English, right? Hard to understand what she says. The intro of this song sounded like an intro of a commercial and I waited the song to start but then I realized it was part of the song! Although it’s dated and predictable, it’s catchy and I quite like it! This girl can make a good boody shaking on stage, and this year she has no competition in this area at all!

 

 Petronella Poetry

Let’s get this party started! This feels like an eastern European of Shakira, feel like go dancing in my garden. Too bad there is still a lot of snow. The song feels a bit old-fashioned though.

 

 

 

2 Points

MorenikAh. Solayoh. A fictional place. Fiction does not sit well with me. A nice song, but the fiction, please Alyona, I cannot handle it!

 

 

 

Glittery S BobSome trashy song from Belarus. I was ready to enjoy it and start to dance after the first 10 seconds, because of the balcanic sound but I’ve change my mind after she starts to sing. Sorry, not good

 

 

Barb E DahlSolayo, what’s that, some boy’s name she’s trying to win over? For that she needs to find something that is a little less old fashioned than this. Granted, it has a sing along chorus that can be fun but other than that it’s so outdated it makes my two brain cells implode.

 

 

 

 

1 Point

 NONE

 

 

0 Points

RobertAnother cheap pop-dance of this year. Why it was necessary to hold big scandals, to do everything for representing the country at the contest, to change entry and then appear to the public with such a crap? Some sounds of the song are alike Slavic rhythm, but the cheap content of the whole composition, weak live vocals, strange accent of Alyona and strange title of the song are disastrous.

 

Eau d'yre  LizzyEau: The song is somewhat entertaining and is certainly not as despicable as Slovenia’s entry, but oh dear, how can I listen to this?
Liz: No, Slovenia’s song is much worse. Perhaps that one has really hit a new bottom when it comes to sending inexpensive songs.
Eau: Oh no, you’re forgetting Bulgaria’s entry from last year. Good heaven.
Liz: Oh yes! That one is an absolute disgrace to… (to be continued)

 

Britni SpirsovicSolayoh olé olé olé olé olé. This sounds to me as if it was a foot ball chant. It sounds dated, not classic. It sounds cheap. The vocals are not outstanding. It is like my sister’s songs. Well, the songs of all my family members. However, Alyona is not Britni Spirsović. She cannot have horrible songs and still make fame. How do you say it… horrible. This song is horrible.

 

 

CURRENT SCORE: 32

 

Now it’s your turn, go to our Forum HERE and vote in the poll.

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3 Comments

  1. rajo

    May 1, 2013 at 12:46

    With either Belarus or Ukraine it’s guaranteed we have a slutty song in the contest year after year…..

  2. Roy van der Merwe

    May 1, 2013 at 17:00

    Now all 39 have been reviewed and lets see how close the expert panel came to predict correctly

  3. rajo

    May 1, 2013 at 19:04

    Not very close, I am afraid. Austria will fail to qualify for Serbia to pass to the finals.

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