Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:





The United Kingdom is next sending a big name to Malmo. Bonnie Tyler is going to sing “Believe in me” hoping to bring UK back to its former glory. What does the panel have to say?


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5 Points

Grandpa WatermanAh Bonnie Tyler, such an great country singer and I ill be voting her 20 times and I hope she will get a good glory for her beautiful song!



Dark MasterI always get the chills when listening to “Holding out for a hero”. The Eurovision eclipse of my heart has finally shifted, thanks to “Believe in me”. As groundbreaking it sounds, I truly enjoy this song and I think UK could do really well with this. The song and the performer go quite well together. I wish them luck and bring the trophy to Brighton, or wherever.. just bring it.

Scotty Too HottyAt the age of 61, how much of a GILF is Bonnie? What alegend gracing the Malmo stage this year. With all bias aside, I think thissong is genuinely lovely and stands a great chance of putting the UK back onthe map. Her charm, gravelly voice and charisma is something that stands out inthe contest. I’d love to take her out for a few drinks, I’d bet she’d show usyoungun’s something or two! This song will have a decent chance of making thetop 10 – go Bonnie! 

Emma Magnuson

What a positive surprise, to find out that this lady will represent the UK in Malmö! And what a beautiful song! I loved it from the very first moment! It’s like combining Bonnie from the 80s with something contemporary. And to these who say that it sounds dated, it’s Bonnie Tyler, dear! What you wanted her to sing? Progressive house or dubsteb?


King Valentino XVIII remember listening to Bonnie throughout the 80’s. A pleasant surprise to hear her Eurovision entry. It’s a wonderful little soft rock number. The piece of music itself is not as epic as we are used to from Bonnie but it’s fresh. It sticks in your head afterwards. The song is totally lifted by the unmistakable gravelly voice of the Welsh wonder. A surprisingly memorable piece sung by one of the best voices of the contest. The nostalgia this entry evokes in me. I’m so excitant. I want to get.. a perm!


4 Points

Eau d'yre  Lizzy Eau: Oh look, the BBC has picked a peer of ours for this years Eurovision. This one looks to be in pretty good shape. The National Health Service has done a supreme job in preserving her. Our taxes have been well spent. Let’s hear if they were able to preserve her voice as well.
Liz: I must say Ms Tyler’s voice has always sounded to me like she’s just had throat surgery and that she’s in a long stage of recovery. I advise a lot of of camomille tea to her.
Eau: Hmm, she sounds (to be continued)


RobertVery decent song from United Kingdom. Though the singer is representing retro generation, the composition sounds very fresh and strong. The music of the song and the voice of Bonnie suit each other very good. This is a perspective entry, which has a chance to finish good in the Grand Final. The UK’s entry of this year exceed my expectations



Glittery S BobYeeeyy!!! I was really looking for a hero to save me from (probably) the worst Eurovision in years. Thank you, my Queen! Even after years, she still retains freshness and joy to sing and you can feel it in this song and in her voice. Yes! It is definitely one of my favorites and for that I lay dust of stars above her for good luck!



3 Points

Alex Chandhok

The great Queen of the power ballad, Bonnie Tyler is on the Eurovision stage and delivers a…pretty vanilla song. It’s not terrible, far from it. But, I think something more up-tempo and powerful like “Holding Out For A Hero” would have done better. Ballads like this are a dime a dozen at Eurovision, but she does pull it off well. Solid chorus, sweet instrumentation…it picks up near the end, but the end comes too soon to put this massively high on my list. I expect a middling result for this, but it depends on her live vocals.

Petronella PoetryOH MY! I can’t believe my eye! Bonnie Tyler is one of my favourite artists! She is among the smartest! The song is though a little let down. But I give an extra point just cause come from the same time. Yes I am welsh..but the only thing i can now that is typical welsh is to belch…



MorenikThe UK clearly trying to copy its neighbours Ireland and Belgium in writing a song about me, obviously I have been heard pleading with the judges at court cases to Believe in Me when I told them that I didn’t intentionally poison guests at my restaurants. I’m flattered Bonnie, but I can see through your plan to butter me up, it just won’t work, sorry.


Britni SpirsovicCountry-pop is not bad. Not as bad as you would imagine it to be. She sounds like a typical country singer, nothing more nothing less. Her song is a little exciting, but nothing more nothing less. Bonnie Tyler is my friend Taylor Swift 200 years from now, asking everyone to believe in her and what she says. That lying f tard.


Barb E DahlWHAT?!?! Finally a country style song and I am not that fond of it? I feel like I need to spank myself. It’s decent but the verses are much stronger than the chorus and maybe because it is a washed down country song I’m not falling for it. But it deserves at least average points.

2 Points


1 Point


0 Points






Now it’s your turn, go to our Forum HERE and vote in the poll.

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  1. rajo

    April 25, 2013 at 14:05

    I wouldn’t MIND …. +screw you grammar devil+

  2. rajo

    April 25, 2013 at 14:05

    I wouldn’t Bonnie going for Gold this year. (Even though it’s Britain…. huehhgh) 😀

    This is the song that touches me the most *wheep*

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