Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

 ZZZRanking

 

Sweden, the host of the 2013 Contest is next up. Robin Stjernberg surprisingly won Melodifestivalen, the first time that a Second Chance Qualifier won it all. His song is titled “You” so let’s find out what the panel has to say

 

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5 Points

Scotty Too HottyThis song has plenty of energy, excitement and passion in the bag for Malmo! The audience quite clearly are going to go nuts! To be honest, his vocals are excellent and he brings so much charisma to the stage. Knowing that they are the host country will automatically give them confidencewhen performing although no doubt he will feel plenty of pressure! This is agreat entry, one that will easily top 8 possibly top 5! Will we see a countrydo the duo for the first time in years?! It’s all because of you Loreen!

 

 

4 Points

 

Glittery S BobThis is indeed a good song. It even makes me jump around through the sky. I see an other success for “Land of Eurovision”

 

 

 

Petronella PoetryOh this kid has one hell of a voice! Feels like he is this years rolls-royce. Of singing of course. Not something with power of a horse. The song is very different, but I like it. But I guess it can go really wrong when the “shouts” doesn’t hit. Good choice anyway Sweden. But ESC won’t problably not go in your eden.

 

 

 

3 Points

Alex ChandhokAn unlikely choice from Sweden, but a fairly generic style of entry regardless. It has a deliberately slow build-up, with almost a whole minute until the all too short chorus kicks in. The chorus is powerful, and is very well sung but doesn’t feel like sufficient pay-off. The performance is all this song really has, as the track itself is rather bland and I feel doesn’t stand out very much. Any hopes of Sweden being the first in the modern era to retain the crown vanished with this. Top half of the table is the best this can hope for.

Emma MagnusonOh, my dear country! Why? This is as an ok song, but nothing more. Too generic for our standards. This is what happens when commoners choose our song. The voting system must change! It should be 50% the votes of the royal family of Sweden, and 50% the votes of international juries consisted of royal family members of each country. Next Melodifestivalen will be like that, because I said so.

 

RobertAfter winning the contest Sweden is looks like taking time for rest and preparing for the show in Malmo. I can explain choosing the song “You” only by these reasons. The composition in common is not bad, the Robin’s voice suit the whole content of the music very good. I dislike the dancers and their costumes, they seem like strangers at the stage. Robin has an aura of very positive and kind person and all these qualities, plus the hosting at ESC will bring Sweden a Top – 10 position this year.

 

 

2 Points

MorenikI honestly tried to listen to this song and give it a fair review, I truly did! But I was just reminded of accusations thrown at me in my old restaurant! Customers screaming It’s all because of you-ooh-ooh-ohohooooh at me as their loved ones fell ill or as they found slugs in their salads. I can’t listen to this song, the flashbacks are too much!

 

 Grandpa Waterman 

 I’m too old for this!

 

Britni SpirsovicWhat a sweet looking boy. Perhaps Džejmi Lin could use a boy toy like him. His song, on the other hand, should be reserved for private listening. Nothing is mind blowing. The song is how do you say it… average… It is Bruno Mars but worse. Listening to it is like being thrown a grenade to, no enjoyment from me. Erm, I cannot say that this song doesn’t have good qualities, it’s good quality includes the fact that it ends and that it is only 3 minutes long. I lost 3 minutes of my life, aaaaaj.

Barb E Dahl Sweden is not a place where I’m considered good looking cuase everybody is blonde there, too. And for some reason they have a fascination with the letter U, at least according to this song. It’s too repetitive even for my taste and sending this song afer and amzaing winning entry the year prior, it feels as big of a let down as finding out that MARS bars are being made right here on eerath. Id’ give it more points if they had chosen a better singer but that didn’t happen either.  

 

 Eau d'yre  LizzyEau: Ooow, here we have Robin, the darling of the Swedish voters. He’s just so endearing. He reminds me of a young deer my late husband shot in the woods of Leicestershire back in the early 1990s. Oh dear, what a deer. We had to buy a second freezer to store all the edible parts. After three months we had still not finished eating from it.
Liz: Many people were surprised Robin won Melodifestivalen because everybody thought Ulrik would take it.
Eau: Yes, it was all set up, dear… (to be continued)

 

 

1 Point

NONE 

 

0 Points

 

King Valentino XVIIIt has been a long time since I have been so annoyed by a song. I avoid all mainstream music today so I don’t have to hear abominations like this. This is hideous music. Pretentious even. His voice…. is like glass going through my left ear and out of the right. “All because of YOOOoooUuuuuuOooooooOOoooooOOoo”. No my dear, you are not Rona Nishliu. You have no right for such vocal gymnastics. Horrible song from one of my favourite countries. Please Swede, next year After Dark. Ok thank you.

Dark MasterIf it was because of me, I would launch you on the Arctic. This sounds painfully abominable and looks static, and rather revolting. I may vomit. His screaming makes me use unforgivable curses. Pussywhimping and whining on the word you, never sounded more appalling. Let’s just say that the host is lucky to be qualified directly. Robin of Sweden, get….out

 

 

CURRENT SCORE: 32

 

Now it’s your turn, go to our Forum HERE and vote in the poll.

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