Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

ZZZRanking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Armenia is up next, Dorians were seletected internally and held a NF where the viewers could choose between a few songs and “Lonely Planet” ended up victorious. Let’s see what the panel has to say

 [vsw id=”JSs03Sp-4ME” source=”youtube” width=”425″ height=”344″ autoplay=”yes”]

 

 

5 Points

 NONE

 

 

4 Points

MorenikWhat a man! I want hair like that, all greasy and matted and long! Think of how much I’ll save on cooking oil by just squeezing my hair into the frying pan! He is a role model to all aspiring cooks! Oh the song? The song is ok, I suppose, but Gor is the real winner here!

 

 

 Dark Master

Lonely planet? Did my grumpy cat wrote the lyrics for this? That cat of mine spends too much time on Facebook lately and its popularity has risen. Why – I have no idea. Regardless, I do like this Armenian effort. It seems much better than the Albanian rock entry. I like the composition, the beat and I can listen to this often. The problem with it – it can be improved to sound even better.

 

 

 

 

3 Points

Alex ChandhokA decent rock number from Armenia. It was written by Tommy Iommi, and you can tell as It has the complex melodies of metal, and that sets it apart. It’s quite a heartfelt song, although I thought there were 2 better songs Armenia could have voted for. I like the chorus, but other parts of the song fall short. This should have been epic, but it’s still pretty good. We don’t get enough of this genre at ESC. This is an outside contender for qualification, nothing more. In many ways it deserves to through though.

King Valentino XVIIWhy is this man a sooo down? I no understand.. this not a lonely planet. I with all my friends ere on the internet. On escunited and faaacebook is where I spend MOOOST of my time. I no lonely but I understand his despair. Sometimes we feel a down. He just wanna us to come together and elp him. His song starts nice, almost like folk but then turns into quite a cheesy yet enjoyable rock number. I no mind just hope he no longer feel so down. His eyebrows almost as impressant as my hair.

Scotty Too HottyThis is a grower. The trouble is people who switch onto ESCwho aren’t usually massive fans may not see the appeal. The guitar section is alittle different particularly in this year’s selection of songs. Therocky/indie aspect may gather some votes especially for those who are not intodance tracks which there seem to be a few of this year. The lead singer has gota half decent voice although nothing overly special. Not sure this will haveany impact on mass. Time will tell.

 

Petronella PoetryThis song is nice, but not perfect. It make me start to reflect. But it is more like the greenhouse effect. Takes a bit too long til it’s quality gets detect

 

 

 

 

2 Points

 Robert

Typical pop-rock song without any national influence of Caucasus. To be honest expected something better from Gor Sujyan. The song sounds interesting and the beginning but further to the end it bother my ears and makes me want it to finish soon. In common for my taste it’s a weak compostion, which won’t be valued very high by public

 

 

 

1 Point

Glittery S BobAfter this year’s edition I should take an extended leave and go somewhere on a cloud or a comet where I might have a little silence and peace! I think that says enough about the noise which “Uncle Gor” produces. The only good thing of the song  is the guitar solo; the rest is a big nonsense.

 

 

0 Points

Grandpa WatermanOne word, Rubbish!

 

 

Emma MagnusonCan someone explain me what the hell is this? This is a living horror. I want the 3 minutes I spent listening to this noise back.

 

 

 

Britni SpirsovicWHAT?! Who’s the one who sent a bad song? Armenia did. Sorry your song did not conquer me. Maybe someday, Armenia will send good songs again. This one is not a good one, the rock is dated (dated, not classic), the lyrics is ok, the vocals is ok. Nothing I like. Sorry.

 

Eau d'yre  LizzyEau: What to think of Armenia’s song this year… That’s actually a tough question. The other day I was having a nice stroll through the lanes of our village when I heard two younger persons talking to each other in a front yard. They were no strangers to me, because I know their mothers from the bridge club. The strange thing was that they sounded so foreign in their speech. Like… Americans. And I can tell you Liz, they’ve never lived in the United States. (to be continued)

Barb E Dahl

 There are no words to describe this song, that’s how bat it is. It’s the kind that has no redeeming qualities. And no, I’m not incompetent…..once I laughed too hard, I had a little accident.

 

 

 

 

CURRENT SCORE: 23

 

Now it’s your turn, go to our Forum HERE and vote in the poll.

Load More Related Articles
Load More By Matt Friedrichs
Load More In 2013

One Comment

  1. Zack

    April 8, 2013 at 02:14

    Rather than thinking I have bad taste in Eurovision music, it makes me feel better to think everyone else has bad taste. This expert jury is smokin’ crack!

Check Also

Elena Tsagkrinou to represent Cyprus at Eurovision 2021

Elena Tsagkrinou is going to fly the flag for Cyprus at the Eurovision Song Contest 2021 i…