Ugaly

[Fearnavigatr]

Re: Ugaly - 80TH ANNIVERSARY!

We acknowledge the last eight, unpresented entries, but for now we shall stick to presenting the 86th Ugly entry:


Christopher Lee is a very famous and prolific English actor. With such roles as Count Dracula, James Bond-villain Scaramanga and Saruman the White Wizard under his belt, at 90 years of age he surely must be enjoying his retirement.

What's that? He's still acting and just started a career as a heavy metal singer? Oh my...

That's right. Straight from his 2010 concept album about Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, we present you Lee and company in this melodic retelling of the 782 massacre of Saxon rebels in Verden, also known as The Bloody Verdict of Verden! Join Saruman as he sheds the blood of 4000 Saxon men, and enjoy the ride!

Lyrics:

Does a man have to fight all his life?
Only in death to take flight to the skies
Warmongers fight to take my throne
No respect is ever shown

In borderland raids
They came in their hordes
Ransacking villages
Taking the spoils
With nothing to lose
And possessions few
Bold, sturdy, fearless and cruel

Defiant of baptism on pain of death
Tough measures call for me to be ruthless
To set an example to the rebels
Draconian for their worship of devils

Four-thousand men all dead in one day
They would not renounce their heathen ways
Thirty years of campaigning consumed
To subject those Pagans to Christian rule

The Bloody Verdict of Verden
Rivers flowing red with the blood of four-thousand men that I did behead

I shed blood of Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed it at Verden
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of four-thousand Saxon men
I shed blood of Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men

Shall my realm be taken as I toil?
To force others out of Frankish soil
And I return to learn that all is lost
Yet my companions I trust, the sword and the cross

Converting entire tribes by the sword
In the name of Jesus Christo, our lord
On that day in Verden
No mercy given
Victory for the chosen people

Weary grow I of this task which fell
On the shoulders of a man who yearns to spend
But one hour with wife and child
To gaze upon faces innocent and mild

Four-thousand men all dead in one day
They would not renounce their heathen ways
Thirty years of campaigning consumed
To subject those Pagans to Christian rule

To build a better world
Than ever has been seen
An empire made great by deeds of great kings

I shed blood of Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed it at Verden
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of four-thousand Saxon men
I shed blood of Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men
I shed the blood of the Saxon men

 

[Roffbeard]

That guy's Uruk-Hai army killed my fourth cousin twice removed and his whole family, you insensitive prick!

That's my fourth cousin twice removed to the left.

 

[doctormalisimo]

Two things I've learned today

1) Christopher Lee is 90 :shock:
2) Christopher Lee has a music career :shock:

Cool entry!

 

[Fearnavigatr]

With our 89th entry being sent to NSC 92, we can proudly announce that Ugaly is now officially the one nation that has sent the most entries to the Nation Song Contest, ever! Footsweaty lurkers rejoice!

Oh and of course

 

[Roffbeard]

I should be surprised this eventually happened, but I'm actually more surprised it didn't happen sooner. Lurkovision's despicable persistence and horrible taste should've scared off all the other participants ages ago!

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

The first milestone that Ugaly reached first, welcome to our 90th entry!


Kid Kasio is the current project of Nathan Cooper, formerly of The Modern (known from Ugaly's NSC 80 entry, incidentally our last appearance in a final). Similar to The Like's heavy 60s influences, Kid Kasio takes a chunk of the 80s that makes his material close to indistinguishable from the contemporary stuff. Let your nostalgia wander (and don't be afraid to let your Telephone Line do some work) as Ugaly celebrates this big number with a cheesy, happy throwback to the third-to-last decade!

¡90 EDIZIONES, EL CELEBRAZION!

 

[Roffbeard]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

Gotta hand it to you this time, at least this guy knows how to use proper telephone machines, not those fancy schmany aye-phone things you kids seem to need for life support these days!

I'm posting this with a 19th century telegraph, and you dare call yourself an old-timer after 90 editions?!

 

[ronny1988]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

Happy Anniversary ! Have fun the next 90 editions

 

[sigi]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

7 years, 90 editions ....congrats jochen

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

6 years in April. Thanks though! ^^

 

[sigi]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

right.....6 years

 

[takeru]

Re: Ugaly - 90 Editions!

EL CONGRATULAZION INDEED!

...Which reminds me, we're a coupla weeks overdue for our 6-year Winners' anniversary show (a celebrazion where the winrars from NSC 78 to 92 do battle); should get this set up sometime

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Before showing you what's in store for the upcoming edition, we felt it necessary to go back and recall what just happened with our 91st entry.


Some of the most revered occupations in Ugaly belong to the railway industry. Trains are by far the most popular method of transportation in the nation. All respected celebrities in Ugaly "bor vid järnvägen", where the true luxury homes are built. Needless to say, while not a constant presence in entertainment and media, trains are definitely a major part of Ugly culture. Even the trash culture freaks at Lurkovision know this, and every now and then these railbound engines do get their moments in the entertainment spotlight. Country singer Alan Jackson took the stage in NSC 94 with this sing-along beauty, Freight Train (originally composed by Fred Eaglesmith), to show this, and the result was so far beyond our wildest expectations! With a glorious mid-table result in the final, coming straight after a morally crushing streak of 13 unsuccessful semifinals, we've finally finally finally been proven that unexpected miracles do happen, even if it takes over 90 tries!

Lyrics:

I just came down from Chippewa
Had a station wagon and a hundred dollars
Thinking about the girl I'd lost a year before
I hadn't seen her for some time
Thought I might go on by when your memory came flooding in and you closed that door

Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a diesel locomotive
I'd come whistling down your track crashing in your door
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I didn't have a heart
You need a shovel for the coal just to get me started
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train

Well every time I talk to you I hear your jealous lies
I feel like I've been left abandoned on some old railway side
And every time I hear your voice my water just gets cold
My stoker will not stoke and my boiler will not boil

Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a diesel locomotive
I'd come whistling down your track crashing in your door
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I didn't have a heart
You need a shovel for the coal just to get me started
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train

Well every time I fell behind I could not get ahead
I wish someone would pull the lever and give me a little sand
And every time I slip behind even further back
I wish some switch man would come out of the fog and change my track

Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a diesel locomotive
I'd come whistling down your track crashing in your door
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I didn't have a heart
You need a shovel for the coal just to get me started
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train

Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a diesel locomotive
I'd come whistling down your track crashing in your door
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I didn't have a heart
You need a shovel for the coal just to get me started
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train baby
Wish I was a freight train

 

[Roffbeard]

Well this is sure to derail things even further now that those Lurkovision morons have been encouraged. Dumb luck or not, it's still just a boring old man with facial hair playing some depressing style with a pathetic tiny instrument!

Now excuse me while I grab my harmonica and play some Optimist Dinghy Blues, feels great after trimming my good old beard!

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Is this Ugaly's 92nd entry? It is!


British synthpop group Sohodolls are among the most highly regarded Ugly acts around, with a very successful career in the nation even outside of the contest. Within the contest, they've been seen no less than twice, both times under the Ugly colors, to very different degrees of success. In NSC 37, they finished 3rd in the final. In NSC 84, they finished second last in the semifinal. Either way, their reputation still stands tall enough to be granted another go... it's just too bad the group hasn't released any new material in over 5 years!

Enter Maya von Doll, the group's pretty, enigmatic singer, coming up to break this silence with some excellent material of her own! Out of her recent releases, the in-house jury has chosen to let her represent us with Is This Love. Backed up by DJ-duo Robs & Duke, this song of Maya's is sure to be both reminiscent of her group's classic material and a fresh new wind of her own niche.

 

[Tinchey]

Maya von Doll is amazing! Great choice! I had her planned with Open Chequebook. Good luck!

 

[Roffbeard]

Come on now, really? Last time you sent those emo hipsters you just barely avoided a last place, and that wasn't even a year ago! Now SHE's going to have another go?! Don't you know the teacher's said that she's been naughty, she must learn to concentrate, the girls pull her hair, with the boys she can't relate, her daddy says she's good for nothing, her mother says that its from him, her manic sister thinks she's cracking and her brother says it's in her genes?! Definitely setting a poor example for the younger viewers.

What? No, I haven't memorized any stupid lyrics, shut up!

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Part 4 of Ugaly's history recap is now available, covering the editions 64 to 83:

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

More updates coming, Ugaly is starting the big countdown...

 

[Fearnavigatr]

As Lurkovision sends off the final votes for Ugaly's 99th participation, we start gazing towards the upcoming celebrazion, the major celebrazion...

Are you ready to celebrate 100 editions of Ugliness in NSC 103 with us?!

 

[Fearnavigatr]

Re: Ugaly - 100TH ANNIVERSARY ENTRY

UGALY'S 100TH ENTRY


Indeed, Lurkovision and Ugaly are proud to be the first ever broadcaster and nation of NSC to reach the big triple-digit milestone! More than 6 years, lots of songs and countless emotions have led us to this point, and we thought there's absolutely no way we can celebrazionate it properly other than summarizing all of this in a song! The delegation of Ugaly, spearheaded as usual by Jochen Piribauer, or "Fearnavigatr", humbly presents this exclusive in-house production, written especially for NSC... the song about Ugaly! While time and resources didn't allow us the most advanced production, we hope you'll appreciate what we did manage to create and that you'll party alongside us during this centenary!

Pride, honor and footsweat, bless you all, citizens of Natia!

Lyrics:

In the land of Arjastan, on the cycle of the fourth
From the coast of Norigin a nation did set forth
Putting all their faith towards the German morningstar
Novel thought, but in the end could only go so far

Crashed and burned, but we returned, eager for revenge
Sent more songs to represent our style without pretense
Nothing seemed to work at first, the scores would drain our wits
But luck would turn the day when we were dancing on the Ritz

In this game till the end of time, never sure about what song you're seeking
Funny chorus with a half-assed rhyme, or a ballad for your heart and soul
We've been there before, on the floor of the scoringboard
But now that we've grown, we will show our resolve
Vote for us, most Ugly nation that will ever be
What score will we see in NSC for Ugaly?

Years then passed, the fight went on, sometimes high and sometimes low
A hundred times the crowds have judged whatever we would show
Three attemps would give for us a golden medal view
Twins and European wars and Dreams that did come true

In this game till the end of time, never sure about what song you're seeking
Seventeen different types of lime, or a lemon, just the one, just one
We've been there before, on the floor of the scoringboard
But now that we've grown, we will show our resolve
Vote for us, most Ugly nation that will ever be
What score will we see in NSC for Ugaly?

But time moves on, conditions change, now we're relics of the past
Maybe soon the final rest for Ugaly at last?

But on the other hand...

None of what we've done so far has ever been for naught
If you never liked our songs, your loss, your shame, your drought

In this game till the end of time, never sure about what song you're seeking
Funny chorus with a half-assed rhyme, or a ballad for your heart and soul
We've been there before, on the floor of the scoringboard
But now that we've grown, we will show our resolve
Vote for us, most Ugly nation that will ever be
What score will we see in NSC 103 for Ugaly?