Oh girl I'd need about 5 working days to even BEGIN but I'll do it from when I first started to watch the contest in 2005:
#1
2010 | Josh Dubovie - That Sounds Good To Me
This was just a fucking disaster from the word go. Cheesy pop song written and produced by an extremely outdated writer and producer (even for 2010), the on stage 'cringe' moments such as the attempts to get the crowd clapping, the staging, the backing vocalists. One big YIKES. All this too after such a strong year for us in 2009...
#2
2015 | Electro Velvet - Still In Love With You
For me, Eurovision is meant to reflect the type of music you hear on the radio in your country... what radio station did the BBC think they were mimicking here? Electro Swing gone wrong... everything from the dodgy scatting, to the pound shop light up dress that probably needed a PAT test before taking to the stage. Also the look on the female vocalists face, you'd think she was being forced to do it. Just an utter shitshow.
#3
2012 | Engelbert Humperdinck - Love Will Set You Free
Sending Blue in 2011 was one thing, but sending Engelbert was another. On paper the song is OK, but nothing special. There's no real journey you can go on with it, it's very flat and lacks energy, which granted considering the singer's age, is understandable - but that raises the question... the UK has so much young, up and coming talent, why did they almost waste the year with this entry? One size definitely doesn't fit all when it comes to sending has beens. Not to mention Engelbert's general attitude towards the contest was less than ideal...