Team ESC United Weighs In: Who Do WE Think Germany Should Send? 🇩🇪

Leona- “Undream You”

Leona is a 20 year old, up-and-coming artist who began pursuing a music career shortly after finishing high school. Among the song’s co-writers are Leona herself and Melodi Gran Prix veteran Elsie Bay. 

William: There’s an undeniable magic to this song. It’s simple, but it’s power is in its simplicity. Honestly, I’d dial the production back even more than it is already. This is a song that speaks louder the less that it says, ya know? I’d really focus in on Leona and her idiosyncratic vocalizations. There’s an almost bluegrass-y, authentic folk-iness to the music track that I’d like to hear unfettered from some of the more obvious production choices. Case in point: the last minute energy ramp up and key change feels like a betrayal or a sudden loss of nerve. It breaks the magic. This is a good song that could be made great with a few key adjustments. I’m INCHES away from fully jumping on board, but sometimes an inch can stretch a mile. Ya know? 6.5/10

James: Christ, first Monika Marija’s :Unlove You Starting Tomorrow”, now this. I would, however, like to believe Leona made a sly Liz Truss joke with the yellow roses outliving her relationship line, but I doubt Tories and lettuces cross the mind of someone who comes up with “Undream” on a humorless dirge such as this song. And when yellow roses as a metaphor for outliving her relationship is the best line, we’re not diving into deep, meaningful poetry here. 3/10

Tyler: I dunno man, “Undream You” seems like a decent break-up song, but the lyrics reeks of desperation and being too attached to their former beau. I don’t think you can really stage this song well, and when the live performances come out, this won’t be something I’m excited to watch, y’know? Leona sings the song well, but this song is such a nothingburger to me; it’s a skip even if it might be pleasant to listen to. Bored, next. 5/10

Boris: ‘Undream’ is not a word, darling. Am I mincing words on this? It’s just another void-nothing into last place, surely? Even with good vocals (sigh) “Undream You” is incapable of serving. I present as evidence all other ’emotional’ indie wenches with bananies and avocadoesh voices flopping over the years in other selections. Watch this whipped country try their luck with it anyway. Just WATCH. 2/10

Daniel: A great vocal to be sure, but with a pseudo-British accented singing style almost reminiscent of Lena (Germany’s last winner) but slowed down a couple hundred notches. It’s a rather trad ballad at its core and lyrics such as, ‘undream you’ prove a little grating after a while. This does nothing for me; I can appreciate the good vocal and the sharp-if sparse-production but the song amounts to very little. 4/10

Yehonatan: Another Elsie Bay song for our heart and soul <3. Unlike most of the other songs written by her, this one is much more tender and soft, and much less dramatic, which is a very refreshing change. If this song is given a very intimate staging, with close camera cuts, it can be a moment on stage. 8/10

David: Come on, this is adorable and very cute. I can’t even hate it; it touches me. I will be honest, it does bore me to some point, but in this case, I’d just feel bad to not acknowledge the effort and how beautifully it’s done. No, it’s not something I’ll listen to, but if I hear it, then it might put a smile on me. 5/10

Total: 33.5

Isaak- “Always on the Run”

28-year old Isaak Guderian briefly appeared on X Factor Germany in 2011, but his big break came in 2021 when he won the online digital singing competition Show Your Talent.  He co-wrote the song with a team that includes Leo Jupiter, a Finnish record producer who has previously worked with UMK 2021 runners-up Teflon Brothers. 

William: I mean, Isaak’s got serious vocal chops, and it sounds like something I could have heard on the radio a couple years ago. It’s current-ish. It has has the polish, production, and power of a song that finishes, like, 6th in a Melfest final. (No shame in that, by the way; any comparison to Klara Hammarström’s 2021 and 2022 tracks is a huge compliment from me.) I’m just not all that compelled by the song, and I don’t think it would stand out in Malmö. It’s expected. It’s familiar. It’s safe. Germany can’t afford safe. 5/10

James: Tedious, angsty pop typical of the last few years, complete with mangled vocals for effect (e.g. guidance sounds like ‘goi – dinz’). Lyrically, it’s a word salad of angst-ridden clichés without much of a story or any semblance of personality. We’re just left with an angry young man bellowing into the wind about nothing. 4/10

Tyler: Isaak’s vocals aren’t in question–they sound good and tries its best to elevate “Always on the Run”, but this song just doesn’t work for me at all, sorry! It’s Imagine Dragons, but make it a solo act. It’s outdated and not really doing anything impressive to me. It’s a generic-sounding song, and unless the staging is magical, this just isn’t going to work. 4.5/10

Boris: Germany’s problem at this contest is they’re always too earnest. In that regard “Always on the Run“ feels like a well-laid trap. Isaak has a good voice, and the track is slick and polished. MEIN GOT! DAS IST EIN ECHTES LIED, JA? Nein, du Null. Look at the entries that have done well in Eurovision since the pandemic, and then look at “Always on the Run” and see where they overlap (nowhere). As a composition, it’s about seven years behind the current pop curve. Who is casting votes for songs such as these? The live on this had better be nothing short of excellent if Germany were to choose Isaak. 5/10

Daniel: We can all bear witness to Isaak’s remarkable vocal, judging from the studio cut of “Always On The Run”… but vocal isn’t enough to save a subpar song. Sounding like a singer-songwriter song plucked out from the late 2010s radio playlists, there is something inauthentic to this song. Perhaps the comparisons to James Arthur are too blatant for me, but also to 2021’s UK representative James Newman, and we all know how well that went for him. 3/10

Yehonatan: While “Always on the Run” is yet another very radio-friendly Melfest reject sound, it’s one of the better ones in this season. Isaak is definitely the saving grace of the song; he’s got the perfect vocal style for this type of entries. Unfortunately, these songs mostly fail to come alive on the live performances as they are so hard to stage. 6.5/10

David: Oof! What a voice! There’s a lot to unpack here, so lyrically it’s something I absolutely can resonate with. Vocals are just superb, on point, powerful, just God damn! Musically, great tune, catchy and intriguing. It’s like a perfect song, but it’s still not there. It’s not something I would constantly listen to; it’s just missing that replay value, which can mean so much. 8/10

Total: 36

GALANT- “Katze”

Galant is an electropop duo composed of 26-year-old Mona Meiller and 29-year-old Paul-Aaron Wolf. The pair, who began releasing music online last year, are the sole credited writers of their song. 

William: I love GALANT’s spirit and attitude. It’s clear they have a distinctive point of view, and I’m excited to see all the ideas they are no doubt gonna pull out from under those bantu knots. I wouldn’t be mad to see this representing Germany in Malmö, but I’m not sure that I would advise it, either. This isn’t going to do anything for the juries in May, so it would be ultra reliant on televote enthusiasm. And I’m not sure I see this grabbing attention as immediately as it would need to. It’s a little lowkey to be a televote juggernaut. I dig this. I’ll be listening to it. I think sending it would be a mistake, but it’s a mistake I’d respect and appreciate Germany for making. 6.5/10

James: German humor is, like their food, an acquired taste. I can’t say I appreciate it in general, but “Katze” is quirky and fun a foreigner can appreciate. Especially when it is heavily influenced by early ‘80s German synthpop like Trio and contains absurdist humor. I doubt this will get far, as it is quite niche, though fans of crazier, but more thoughtful, novelty entries will appreciate this as a more polished version of Kaia Tamm’s “Wo Sind Die Katzen?” from Eesti Laul 2019. 8/10

Tyler: Some of my favorite Eurovision songs have been truly weird shit that at the time nobody understood but have aged well with time. “Katze” reminds me of “Euro-Vision”, of “Rendez-vous”, of “Playback”. The ’80s sounds in here only compliment the song, and, while the vocals may be super basic and not giving us show-stopper, not every song needs those kinds of moments. “Katze” is weird as hell, but I’m drawn to it ever the same, and this WILL get televotes from me if it’s in the Grand Final. I need to see the live performance and if they lean into how oddball it is for it to get a higher score from me. This could be my favorite German entry since 2011! 7/10

Boris: So Stupid That It Works is not a concept that fills me with confidence especially in Germany, but Galant’s take on Kaia Tamm’s “Wo Sind Die Katzen?” Is surprisingly sound as a composition. It is endearingly irreverent in an almost Baltic way, and that always lends itself towards potential on-stage shenanigans and campness. Again, I’d trust this way more in the hands of Lithuania than I would Germany, but, if Germany wants to roll with a silly, Avant-garde act that’s bound to stand out, Galant is as good an opportunity they’ll get. 6.5/10

Daniel: Low-fi indie electro vibes owed to minimalist production driven primarily by the sultry vocal by lead singer Mona. Various flourishes of instrumentation are dropped here to coalesce together in the song’s final moments. It’s an interesting proposition and an incredibly hipster one at that. It’s a song that I’m unable to gage whether it would do well at Eurovision or not. 6.5/10

Yehonatan: Germany. What. One ‘Cat Song’ was more than enough for this season, (thanks Latvia) but now we another and it’s worse? That definitely wasn’t on my bingo card for this national final season. I have the slightest fear this will actually end up winning the national selection, just because it’s the only non-radio friendly song in the selection and it stands out tremendously. 2/10

David: This is a cat lady  that has gone fucking crazy. What in hell is this disaster?! Even cats can’t lose their nine lives fast enough, just to avoid hearing this… song?!?! 1/10

Total: 37.5

Floryan- “Scars”

Floryan is the stage name of Florian Rößler, the 28-year-old winner of the all-televote wildcard competition Ich will zum ESC earlier this month. Currently pursuing a master’s degree in music management, the newcomer is listed as a co-writer on “Scars”, working alongside  Ich will zum ESC mentor Rea Garvey. Garvey was the winner of the 2021 Free European Song Contest. 

William: Floryan has a soulful, rich vocal, and this kind of emotional self-empowerment ballad definitely has an audience … but I don’t have any sense from listening to it what, if anything, about the song’s message is personal to him. That’s what a lot of these bleeding heart, sad boy ballads miss. I don’t learn anything about Floryan from this song’s words. Does he have scars? What are they? Or are these just words? 2018 was half a decade ago, but Michael Schulte’s story still resonates as deeply as it did then. I know who he’s singing to in “You Let Me Walk Alone” and why. “Scars” doesn’t give me any of that detail. We need a deeper dig. 4/10

James: Is it me or does Floryan look like Reno 911’s Jim Dangle? Anyway, Floryan delivers a bog standard overcoming my own fear set of lyrics typically assigned to a Voice / Idol / Talent winner or runner-up. Floryan does have some charm and will do well with a certain segment of voter, as this does provide a lot of drama and “Scars” will be a mature counterpoint to a lot of nonsense being offered by rival countries. Something to consider should Floryan win. 5.5/10

Tyler: Any sort of ballad has to really wow me to like it, but I’m not sure if it was the acoustics in the studio or possibly weak vocals (despite the extensive screening process in Ich will zum ESC!), but I found “Scars” to be incredibly weak. I wasn’t impressed at all, and I was begging for the song to end faster. If Germany wants to place last in the Grand Final again then they can pick this one with confidence! 3.5/10

Boris: It’s cynical to assume that the wildcard automatically wins in Germany, but it’s logical to not trust the ever-clueless German audience. When the option for ‘there’s no opinion to be had’ presents itself, these whipped creatures can’t resist going for it, like birds flying into an airplane engine. As evidence I present “Scars”, which has nothing going for it other than a few iffy high notes and some corny lyrics about scars being beautiful. It is absolutely and utterly hopeless. That didn’t stop the audience at Ich Will Zum ESC! from pretending it was the most beautiful and touching anthem they had ever heard. The only thing Germany should be protected against is their insatiable desire to watch the world (Germany) burn. 2/10

Daniel: A falsetto male vocal in a Duncan Laurence-styled ballad, but perhaps a pale imitation of it, devoid of any musical of lyrical complexity. It’s surprising that such straight-up basic songs are still being churned out in these finals. In the live version, we can see Floryan sounding very nasal and truly struggling to reach the high notes or even remain in key. 3/10

Yehonatan: My main issue with this song is that it feels a little bit like an AI was fed early 2010s ballads was asked to write one. It fails to bring anything new to the table, not even in terms of production or vocals, and so all we’re left with is the alright skeleton of the song structure. That is not enough to make the song stand on its own, unfortunately. 3.5/10

David: An emotional ballad which I honestly could get into, but the problem is that it takes too long for it to build up and get good, and, as soon as we get to that point, the song is almost over. Lyrics are indeed quite meh, so to say, since it’s not something we haven’t heard 1000 times already. I wanna like it but can’t. 3/10

Total: 24.5

Bodine Monet- “Tears Like Rain”

Dutch-born Bodine Monet got her first stab at stardom at age 14, competing on a season of The Voice Kids of Germany. The songwriting team behind “Tears Like Rain” is full of Eurovision powerhouses who have contributed to past entries as varied as “Me and My Guitar” (Belgium, 2010), “She Got Me” (Switzerland, 2018), and “Amen” (Austria, 2021). 

William: This song confuses me. There’s a terrific country pop ballad in here somewhere, but it’s fused with a more traditional Scandi sound in a way that clashes for my ears. There are a couple different versions of this song that I think I’d be on board with. I just wish we weren’t hearing them simultaneously layered on top of each other. Bodine seems like she has the chops. Hopefully we’ll see her return to the national final in the future. As it is, though, “Tears Like Rain” is a collection of shiny parts constructed into a less sturdy whole, and that’s not a formula Germany can afford to take a gamble on in 2024. 5.5/10

James: I think we popped into Sweden by mistake here. It’s a standard pop ballad with the usual emotional swing from sadness to swearing to getting over a dodgy ex. It’s not a particularly compelling entry, despite what the hyperbolic comments in the YouTube video claim (you know, the ‘Sweden Germany, you have one job, send this to Eurovision’ and ‘OMG! Life saving!’ comments). 5/10

Tyler: I want to like “Tears Like Rain” more since I like the sound of Bodine’s voice a lot! The thing is, her vocal style seems to be very hit or miss when it comes to the live performance. I think Bodine has a good shot at winning. While I like her vocals, the song also feels a little outdated (at least early 2010s). This might escape last place in the Grand Final; it might not. Anything is up in the air! I’m curious about the live to see if she can pull it off. 6/10

Boris: A perky, positive little song about picking up your life after a devastating break-up. The market for songs like these is oversaturated outside of Eurovision, but inside this Eurovision there’s definitely a niche for unassuming positivity that Bodine could fill. At least on paper. I’m very doubtful Germany knows what to do with a cute song like this one in practice. But I’m always open to being positively surprised. 7/10

Daniel: “Tears Like Rain” starts off very unassuming: just a competent full-bodied vocal, accompanied by an acoustic base guitar, singing about regular things like crying on your pillow. But upon closer inspection, you can hear an intricacy in the singing style and accompanying strings, a hint of Caroline Policheck emerges, and this is not a bad thing in my books. When the pre-chorus kicks in, when increasingly elaborate string and percussion arrangements are introduced, it immediately elevates the song into something surprisingly hooky which complements Bodine’s soulful and full-bodied voice. And so, as the song continues to build and build, it fully envelopes you, bathes you in its warmth, making  you sway from side-to-side. 8/10

Yehonatan: For some reason, I get the feeling that this is the demo version of what supposed to be a very 2019-style summer banger. Nevertheless, “Tears Like Rain” is still one of the most solid and polished packages on this selection. It’s incredibly catchy, and something about this very stripped instrumentation, that makes it feel like a demo, ends up actually working in giving a more unique sound to the song. 7.5/10

David: This is sweet! Catchy rhythm and tune, I’m quite digging this. It has a very lovely build-up and melody, so it’s a really easy song to get into. Sure, it is something very simple and standard. It’s not outstanding, but it’s a strong effort for a catchy tune. Definitely has replay value and interest. It is just dragging on the lyrics, and vocals could more impressive, but very nice. 7/10

Total: 46

Ryk- “Oh Boy”

34-year-old Rick Jurthe, stage name of singer-songwriter Ryk, is one of the more experienced artists competing to represent Germany this year. Eurovision fans may recognize him from his participation in the 2018 German national final that was won by Michael Schulte. Ryk is the song’s sole credited writer.

William: I mean, this is the one, yeah?. At least based on the studio cuts. “Oh Boy” is captivating. It’s transporting. It’s evocative. It sounds a bit like a tornado siren, but in a good way? There is SO much staging potential, too. It straight up just sounds like a Eurovision winner, and, with the correct blend of ideas and ambitions behind it, it very well could. God I hope Ryk can sing this live. If this DOES win, which I’m kind of expecting it to, I just hope the creative team and the broadcaster don’t celebrate prematurely. This song is a delicate thing, and it needs to be handled with care. Don’t fumble the bag, Germany. Don’t let Poland’s graphic design team anywhere near this. 9/10

James: Ryk would be an unusual, yet compelling pick for Germany. He delivers drama and searing vocals which build as the song progresses. Ryk rides the emotional wave of fear of loneliness and rejection by the objection of his affection, and we are definitely brought along with him. If Ryk’s vocals match the intensity of the studio version, Germany’s run of bad form at Eurovision could be brought to an end. 8.5/10

Tyler: I’m sorry, I just do not see this song being a winner contender at all. For ALL of Eurovision this year? Come on lol. Is it because it’s a sadboi singing that makes people think this could win? How empty the song feels? I don’t get it. Please explain to me. I don’t hate this dirge at all, but I have no incentive to pick up the phone and vote unless the performance is truly out of this world. I just don’t see it. I don’t understand it, and frankly, I don’t want to. 3/10

Boris: Germany is in DESPERATE need for an entry that yoinks them out of the morass of failure they’ve gotten themselves in. A downtempo piano ballad with no real big moment is not an escape route. This, is not “Seis”. “Oh boy” takes too long to get going (it never gets going) and would give them just another Saturday Night special of dead last. So of course it’s the favorite amongst the Germans on our forum. Okay then. At some point you just have to let Icarus fly and crash into the ocean a billion times until he learns the lesson that he’s not to be trusted with the power of free will. 3/10

Daniel: Skimming through Germany’s national finalists, there are a few inconspicuous gems hidden in here, and this is certainly is one of them. Epic is the word that I would describe this power ballad that unabashedly ventures into these gargantuan sonic spaces with vivid string compositions, accompanied by an equally dramatic vocal with a touch of the melancholic. The production on “Oh Boy” feels elevated, it feels new; singlehandedly taking the power ballad genre into a new direction. I got an instant, visceral reaction; it instantly moved me. This for sure is a contender, not just for the German national final but the whole contest… that is if Ryk is able to replicate in the live the same sensation of listening to the studio cut. 9/10

Yehonatan: A very mysterious entry from Ryk. I’m hooked immediately throughout the first minute that builds up very nicely. However, I really wish that this build up led to a very dramatic and instrumentally interesting second verse. I feel like the song is stopping itself from going all the way through with the vision it has, and that’s slightly disappointing. Still, if performed well, this can a very good result for Germany. 7.5/10

David: Powerful and effective, but just not on me. I can hear what it aims for, and I can fully appreciate it, but, to me, it becomes slightly too depressing and sad. With the build-up the song has, I do wish it would keep the momentum rather than dropping it multiple times and going back and forward. Had the song kept it’s power and interest, then I would’ve had a far different view. 3/10

Total: 43

Marie Reim- “Naiv”

 23-year-old Marie Reim is the daughter of Germany’s 2001 Eurovision representative Michelle. An accomplished competitor and performer in her won right, Marie co-wrote “Naiv” with Tim Peters, a German Schlager singer and producer who has worked with her mother in the past. 

William: Oh hell yeah. When was the last time Germany hit us with a good ole slice of thick, gloopy, Velveeta Schlager? It’s surprising that Germany hasn’t gone to this well more often. This is a genre its music industry does better than almost anyone, and in greater quantities. I’m tempted to call this song dated, but I think a more accurate description would be … classic. This WILL have a passionate fanbase. It WILL be clanking around in collective brains for the next three months. It delivers exactly what it promises, at least as far a studio track goes. Will this fall apart live? It’s possible. But if Marie can sell this song, there will be a throng of passionate buyers. And I’ll be right behind them in line, begging for her to take my money. 8/10

James: Finally, some Schlager in the offing for Germany! Sure, Marie sounds like Modern Talking’s niece up to her usual salacious shenanigans (an affair with a married man!), and this song definitely sounds like it’s from Modern Talking’s prime of the 1980s-from its electric guitars and corny synth lines. I was surprised to learn she is only 23, as her video and the lyrics certainly seem geared towards someone much older, though I wasn’t surprised to hear that her father is a Schlager legend himself. I wonder if some Germans might feel a bit unsure sending “Naiv” to Eurovision, but I do promise some will love this fun number. 9/10

Tyler: Can we PLEASE get Schlager back into Eurovision, and not even that genre, but in German? Please? I’m not sure this would get many points in general, since I find the beat to be way too simple and not into Banger Territory, but I enjoyed Marie’s performance in the music video. If Marie Reim can have great vocals in the live performance, I could see her doing adequate. “Naiv” isn’t an Eurovision winner in the slightest, but it at least made me feel like Germany could be fun again, and this would be a good choice for that! 7.5/10

Boris: I’ve decided I want Marie to win for entirely narcissistic reasons. We share a birthday (I’m exactly ten years older than she is). AND FRANKLY THAT’S AS GOOD A REASON AS ANY TO ENDORSE ANYONE IN GERMANY AS IT MATCHES THE DUMB CRITERIA GERMANS THEMSELVES USE. Also, and not unimportantly, I like her song. “Naiv” is a good example of the type of Schlager that has been popular in Germany for decades and yet has not seen life at the contest in years. Do you want more countries to represent their culture in Eurovision? THIS is the song you should be supporting then. It’s definitely fun and unpretentious enough to get televotes if Marie serves hard enough. 7.5/10

Daniel: The world of Schlager that seems to preoccupy the German radio waves is something truly unbeknownst to me. A sound that unabashedly revels in its generic pop-ness from decades ago and refuses to budge. So, credit where credit is due, to able to keep putting out such formulaic, bland, filler music that is resistant to the everchanging fashions of pop music and still remain popular. Despite my own reservations of the genre, I have to say, I find Marie a rather amenable figure. She has competent vocals and is totally selling it with her poutiness and her bouffant blondness decked in lingerie leather outfits. Perhaps I’m entertained by this for all the wrong reasons. But I am the first to admit there is something about Marie which I cannot disregard. 5.5/10

Yehonatan: Finally! A good early 2000s Schlager in German! Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it camp? Absolutely. And is it everything I wish Germany was doing for the past decade? Pretty much yeah! It brings light to a severely underrepresented side of the German music scene in Eurovision, and I’m all in for it. 8/10

David: Alright, this is cool! Beat has you hooked immediately, very catchy. Who would’ve thought that a dance track could work this well in German, like damn! However, that’s also my main problem. I think this would be better in English, since German can be harsh sounding, especially to this dance track. It’s still works amazingly, but it does still sets me off. 7/10

Total: 52.5

Max Mutzke- “Katze”

Max Mutzke is the most well-established act competing to represent Germany this year. The 42 year old performed for Germany at Eurovision in 2004, placing 8th with the song “Can’t Wait Until Tonight”. He co-wrote this year’s attempt with a team of music industry vets. 

William: If I were in charge over at ARD, I would not let a song like this into a national final. It’s the kind of slick, John Legend-coded message song that will automatically have a built in audience at a local level. It’s JUST good enough that it could win the selection, but it’s not NEARLY substantial enough to make any impression whatsoever in Malmö. If this accidentally wins on Friday night, I would not be shocked. And that’s not what the broadcaster should want if they want to escape last place. We know Max has the experience and the bonafides to handle this live performance, which is always a plus. I’m not nervous about his ability to deliver this on stage at all. This will sound good. This will look good. But this is not enough. 4.5/10

James: An inspirational soul entry from well-known German singer and songwriter Max Mutzke. I suspect Germany may select Max as a safe, reliable entry with a sound that will be familiar and friendly to foreign ears. And Max does give a powerhouse performance, like a German Michael Bolton. The lyrics will be relatable, with the protagonist being an unsure yet brave rock for his child / wife to rely on as they go through life. But will safe work for Germany at Eurovision? 7/10

Tyler: Eh! Max seems like a good performe, and he has Eurovision experience (about two decades ago, but that’s besides the point), so he might be a good choice if Germany is trying to replicate their success from 2018 (which I also didn’t like!). “Forever Strong” isn’t the song for me at all. I’m sure others like it, and good for them! They can have it. The song is fine, technically, but I don’t personally enjoy this kind of entry, so I’m tossing it into the bin. 3/10

Boris: Three minutes of NOTHING but vocal masturbation and misery. That may work in a year with fucking potato-level sound quality like 2004. In 2024, though, it will be crushed by the Baby Lasagna / 5Miinust / Gåte TSUNAMI of fun, as it should… 1/10

Daniel: Mutzke can undoubtedly sing. He’s got that kind of bluesy pop male voice that can fluctuate effortlessly through registers. There are all these effects added here-and-there for brio, but ultimately what is on offer here is a ballad-by-numbers, an incredibly dated one at that. Perhaps its naïve of me to be surprised that songs like Mutzke’s but also Floryan’s still exist, but I do find it baffling that people create music so basic with such vacuous lyrical content. It’s oh so trad and unexamined. 4/10

Yehonatan: I’m struggling to follow the hook of this song. I find the transition from the verses to the chorus unsettling and a little bit off-putting. I don’t have much more to say about it, but generally I think that it’s a little bit too outdated for Eurovision as it is now. 3.5/10

David: Here we are, 20 years later, and Max is still delivering these touchy songs. However, this is way better and more powerful than “Can’t Wait Until Tonight”. With that said, it’s unfortunately still quite forgettable. I mean, the man has come a long way in his genre, but it’s not a genre I’m fussed about, as in, at all. 3/10

Total: 26

And there you have it! After all the votes are counted up, Team ESC United is officially endorsing … Marie Reim as Germany’s 2024 Eurovision representative!

#BringSchlagerBacktoEurovision is a movement. Are you in?

Eurovision Song Contest – Das deutsche Finale 2024 kicks off tonight at 10:05 PM CET. The winner will be chosen by a 50/50 split of votes from the public and a group of international juries. Last year’s German Eurovision representatives, Lord of the Lost, will be on hand to help crown their successor. For more information on tonight’s show and a link to watch it live, visit the broadcaster’s official Eurovision website here.

Do #YOU think any of these nine acts have what it takes to rescue Germany from the bottom of the scoreboard?  Let us know on social media @ESCUnited, on our Discord, or on our forum page!