The below review features the opinions and views of the individual author and do not necessarily represent the views of #escYOUnited as a whole, Eurovision, Sanremo Music Festival, or the EBU.
When the moon hits your eye like a giant pizza pie, that’s Sanremo!
Yes, the 74th Annual Sanremo Music Festival kicked off on Tuesday, February 6, 2024, and Europe’s most prestigious contest will conclude in a marathon extravaganza this evening.
Through it all we will learn who is going to represent Italy at Eurovision 2024 in Malmo, Sweden – on the proviso Sanremo’s winner agrees to go and retools their entry to fit Eurovision’s rules – and get a glimpse into the Italian musical scene.
Or at the very least watch Sabrina Salerno do an unexpected rock version of her ’80s classic “Boys (Summertime Love)”.
Either way, for Eurovision’s origin festival, ESC United decided to assemble a panel of goons whose knowledge of Italian culture is limited to what’s printed on Pizza Hut’s menu. It was a marathon listening to 30 contestants, but four of our reviewers managed to get their scores out of ten and their thoughts – such as they are – before collapsing over the finish line.
Reviewing Sanremo Music Festival LXXIV for ESC United:
- David Popescu – Denmark by way of Romania, observe his average score increasing the closer we get to Eurovision itself.
- James Maude – California by way of the UK and South Africa, observe his average score decreasing the more these national selections pile up.
- Tyler Griffith – New Mexico by way of Alaska, he now gets bored to tears by people bringing up “Breaking Bad” instead of “On Deadly Ground.”
- Yehonatan Cohen – Our newest writer hailing from Israel, and the voice of reason on many of these “expert panels.”
With introductions out of the way, in order of reveal on Day 1 of the festival, here are the first ten entries…
Clara – “Diamanti Grezzi”
David – 5 – “A powerful voice and song, very catchy and modern. The slow start did catch me off-guard, so I love how it just jumps out, as soon at the song starts. I do like the tempo, but I do however wish that the song was going somewhere else, rather than remaining very similar throughout the rest of the song. A lovely song still.”
James – 7 – “It feels like it takes a while to get going, but once that first chorus hits we’re in business. The lyrics are typical Italian passionate love gone awry atop a typical ballad with modern production trimmings. It is odd that the Sanremo Giovani winner sounds traditional, but for a talent as young as Clara is it is a solid, mature effort.”
Tyler – 6 – The start of the song is a bit of a clunker to me, where I’m not interested outside of the weird plastic-looking dress Clara is wearing. BUT then the chorus comes in and I lean forward. I like the electronica vibes and Clara sings the song well. She’s a good performer, glad she got a chance to participate and open up the 30-song (God.) semi-final!
Yehonatan – 4.5 – “The string intro had me interested but unfortunately I got lost by the unimpactful chorus. However the instrumental is fantastic, so gotta give it some bonus points for that.”
Total: 22.5
Average: 5.625
Sangiovanni – “Finiscimi”
David – 1 – “Oh dear, my expectations remained low, since his song “Farfalle” from 2022, was one of my most heard songs back then. Unfortunately, Sangiovanni won’t have the same success this time with, the slow and very chill ballad does not affect me at all, and I’m rather just bored of the entire thing. It’s not bad produced or sung, but this is the bottom of the barrel for me, when it comes to genre.”
James – 6.5 – “Is being a pest and endlessly begging your ex to take you back a common trope in Italian pop, compared to the more “toot it and boot it” approach in American and British pop? Anyway, Sangiovanni is at it again with his young tortured soul schtick. I know it’s the land of Romeo and Juliet, but calm down, son. Sangiovanni provides a lot of drama just in his delivery and is a compelling enough stage presence. Just a pity we’ve heard this before, much like the girlfriend he’s pestering with his entreaties.”
Tyler – 4 – “And then we go from any momentum Clara gave to this maudlin song. Any sort of down-tempo or ballad-esque song needs to work hard for my affections, and “Finiscimi” doesn’t do that for me. I don’t care for Sangiovanni’s vocals as we’ve all heard better in Sanremo and the mix between the orchestra and a more modern R&B chords doesn’t work for me or for the performance. Not worth my time!”
Yehonatan – 4 – “I wrote these reviews by alphabetical order of the singer, and I started to get really bored by the amount of uninspired male ballads, so here’s an acronym for them: UMB.”
Total: 15.5
Average: 3.875
Fiorella Mannoia – “Mariposa”
David – 6 – “A classic sound of Italy, there’s no way would ever hear this kind of music anywhere else, so I love this authentic feel from the music. Fiorella even being able to deliver an enjoyable performance, makes it even better than you’d expect. Maybe a tad slow in tempo, and of course, not the best vocal, but mamma mia, bella Italia.”
James – 7 – “You can argue that lyrically, this makes a dandy companion to Smashing Pumpkins’ classic “Bullet With Butterfly Wings.” Fiorella is a “wife on the altar” who “screams in silence” while Billy Corgan’s “despite all my rage I’m still just a rat in a cage” makes them a pairing of repressed suffering and anger. Butterfly and gun metaphors aside, that’s about all Fiorella’s old school Italian pop number has in common. However, the best part of Sanremo for me is always when they trot out seasoned veterans in the festival with new songs. They’ll never win, but it’s a nostalgic look back at the festival’s heyday of the ‘60s and ‘70s, and we should treasure these artists while they’re still here.”
Tyler – 7 – “At least “Mariposa” stands out from the crowd AND it sounds nice, so this gets a moderately higher score than average! “Mariposa” is a fun blend between Italian canzone and a Spanish tempo that immediately stands out. Fiorella also vibes as a seasoned veteran that can take command of the stage, so even though I haven’t been exposed to her music before, she has a fan in me. Send Fiorella to Eurovision, you cowards!”
Yehonatan – 7 – “This is a throwback to old Eurovision entries from Italy. Very anthemic diva melody with chill latin feeling, which makes it stand out a lot.”
Total: 27.0
Average: 6.75
La Sad – “Autodistruttivo”
David – 4 – “This does remind of the good times back in the early 00’s with lots of punk-pop groups, but we are well past that time by now, and it can be felt. The song is alright as it is, but remains a lot the same throughout the song, and the interest fades away quite fast. This is absolutely my style, but I’ve just heard and seen so much better.”
James – 3 – “La Sad should learn what appropriate staging is. On a pop punk song that deals with suicide, bouncing up and down holding up devil horns and wagging your tongue is a bit inappropriate. If you’re going to deal with serious issues, deal with them seriously in your presentation. If you’re going to go the dark humor route, don’t trot out teenagers holding up signs with a somber message. Otherwise, it’s an uninventive throwback to the shopping mall pop punk of the early 2000s.”
Tyler – 3.5 – “Ignoring the fact that I think the Party City skeleton tops are dumb and their hairstyles seem like options in Create-a-Player for Rock Band, the song itself doesn’t go nearly as hard as their aesthetic seems to be. “Autodistruttivo” is late 2000s soft rock and then takes too long to get to its general message for me about suicide. The staging would have to get a huge revamp to bring across the subject matter in a tasteful way, rather than having stage invaders walk on stage with signs. Potential could be there, but this song ain’t it for me.”
Yehonatan – 6 – “Always up for some good old anthemic rock. It’s slightly outdated but nevertheless still good.”
Total: 16.5
Average: 4.125
Irama – “Tu no”
David – 6 – “This song is a journey in itself, powerful and amazing vocal performance. The song is indeed on it’s slower side, but it’s well performed and it really can be heard. It’s not something I would listen to often, but I can absolutely appreciate this composition in itself. I can’t ask for more, but we’re still not quite there either, not for me at least.”
James – 7.5 – “At an average of 9.6, Irama’s “La genesi del tuo colori” is ESC United’s highest ever average score for any national selection. This more traditional ballad will unlikely garner such adoration, but there is still a lot to recommend even if Irama decided to dress like Chris Martin while performing “Tu no.” However, referring to your own song to win back the object of your affection as stupid is perhaps not the smartest tactic for the girl or the audience voting for this. Still, Irama’s powerful voice can extrude emotion from a stone, but he’s not standing out too much this year with other balladeers in the mix.”
Tyler – 2.5 – “No thank you! The voice is grating to me, the hair, the outfit, the song itself is just a huge No, but I guess Irama is popular and he might get chosen anyway? If Italy wants a top 10 finish because it’s an Italian ballad, then sure, I guess vote for it? But come on. Be exciting. Do something, ANYTHING interesting! And this isn’t interesting at all.”
Yehonatan – 5.5 – “‘Tu No’ is your average Italian male ballad, and shockingly there aren’t that many of them so far this year in San Remo, which benefits it a lot. It has a good enough production, which puts it a little bit above the rest of them. Edit: I listened to all the songs in alphabetical order of the singer, little did I know how many more UMBs await me (see Sangiovani’s review above).”
Total: 21.5
Average: 5.375
Ghali – “Casa mia”
David – 6 – “The music and style is great here, a nice vibe going on. Ghali is not exactly the best vocal singer, but hey, he delivers the song very well. The song is nice in itself as it is, and just a chill vibe, which is great now and then, something I could see myself get used to. However, at the moment, I do wish a bit more power, for a song this energetic.”
James – 7 – “If you listen to the lyrics, there’s no prize for guessing which conflict Ghali is hinting at. The sunny pop blended with hip hop masks a very dark message. Remember when you’re bobbing your head along that he’s singing about hospitals being bombed and refugees. In and of itself, this is a catchy track rooted in both Italian disco and modern hip hop though straying from Ghali’s trap beginnings. As for the message, if you just read it as a thoughtful anti-war statement rather than aimed at a particular side, you’ll be less likely to bang on the keyboard as many Eurovision fans have sought to mindlessly do this season. Eurovision is Casa Nuestra. Let’s keep it civil.”
Tyler – 6.5 – “This is fun! I think the vocoder does too much here, makes me think it’s covering up bad vocals from Ghali. But he sounds fine! I’m more of a fun of the funk and dance vibe “Casa mia” gives, as well as the hippo just vibing in the corner. Send the hippo to Eurovision, 50/50 on whether Ghali should go with it.”
Yehonatan – 4 – “As this seems to be a trend, I’m gonna make a new acronym I’ll use to describe those type of entires instead of writing the same thing over and over: CBDIMW – Club beat dramatic instruments & melodically weak.”
Total: 23.5
Average: 5.875
Negramaro – “Ricominciamo tutto”
David – 2 – “Not a fan of the vocal performance, it’s a bit too much for me personally. Musically, it does have something to offer, but it does take a bit before it gets interesting. I wanna like this song, but it also feels like a very heavy song to get into, which instead puts me off.”
James – 4 – “If Negramaro make it to Eurovision, it’s at least obvious where the song will be trimmed to get its 4 minute run time down. The countdown bit, where the vocalist seemed to spring a little too early, is one of a couple spanners thrown in that slows down the flow of this pop rock song. Additionally, I know Italians love a little bit of gravel in their vocals, but it did sound like there was a struggle to hit some notes. Oddly, this is also another song I have heard in this selection that references “stupid lyrics” where the protagonist is aiming to win back the object of affection. Is “I’m a crap writer, come back to me, babe” a new trope in Italian pop?”
Tyler – 1.5 – “Negramaro sounds like he lost his voice and is trying to sing through his laryngitis. Or that’s just naturally his singing voice. Either way, I’m not a fan! I don’t think the tempo change halfway through the song saves it nearly enough for me, as I find the performance off-putting and all of a sudden needing to take a bathroom break.”
Yehonatan – 4 – “Another UMB to bump up their count for this San Remo, woo hoo!”
Total: 11.5
Average: 2.875
Annalisa – “Sinceramente”
David – 8 – “Better be honest here, see what I did there… no? Nevermind… Anyhow, the beat is on fire here, catchy and awesome, Annalisa goes all out on this song and captivates one. Could I ask for a bit more vocally, yes, but it’s a mouthful already as the song is, so I’m just on this catchy ride.”
James – 8 – “For better or worse, this sounds like the most Eurovision-y entry of Sanremo so far. Granted, it will need a little revamp, but nothing that a few shirtless dancers and a moment for Annalisa to slay with a vocal solo couldn’t fix. The lyrics are kind of dumb – Sanremo is usually the gold standard for lyricism at Eurovision national selections – but here they work, in that even if the song is kept in Italian, there’d be enough foreigners to sing along during the chorus.”
Tyler – 6 – “Annalisa seems like she should be a slay, but it seems like Annalisa keeps holding back in her performances. I’m never wowed by her dancing or stage presence, and her vocals are fine and not spectacular. I also find the chorus grating and lazy. The ending seems like it should be the kiss on top for an amazing over-the-top performance but it’s competent more than anything. It’s fine, I wouldn’t be upset if Annalisa won.”
Yehonatan – 7.5 – “I much prefer Annalisa’s ballads such as ‘Dieci’ than her 80s style songs. However ‘Sinceramente’ is one of her better songs of that style, and if it will be cut to 3 minutes it should work well as it gets a little bit boring by the end.”
Total: 29.5
Average: 7.375
Mahmood – “Tuta gold”
David – 7 – “The chorus is where all the gold is hidden, which is great, but also a shame. The song is otherwise, very calm and slow for a rap song. The beat is there, but there is just not enough of it. Eventually it also get’s a bit dragging, and I’m more waiting for the ending, since it does carry me completely musically wise.”
James – 9 – “The chorus is great with the phone bit referencing a dodgy (presumably white Italian guy from his old neighborhood) in a gold tracksuit and the five phones in his pocket. Is this Mahmood’s take on “Der Kommissar,” except instead of a Berlin drug dealer we have a closeted man-whore ashamed to be gay and hooking up with an Italian of foreign heritage? Anyway, if you were a Mahmood fan the last two Eurovision occasions, you will love “Tuta Gold” as it has his usual vocalist bag o’ tricks (his vocals ascending in the chorus, his unique flow in the verses). However, he adds a little bit of funk resulting in a poppier take on his outsider feel, offering something new. For all the faults his detractors point out, you can’t accuse him of reverting to the same formula.”
Tyler – 6.5 – “The hook for “Tuta gold” in the chorus with the phone tones is interesting! Of course, because it’s Mahmood, it can’t be helped to compare this composition to “Brividi” and “Soldi”. This ranks in the middle of them, as the song seems interesting, but also to be expected from Mahmood so it becomes somewhat average. “Soldi” was a flash in the pan, and it’s been unfortunate to see Mahmood not be able to catch that magic again. “Tuta gold” is fine! Not crazy good, but it is catchy.”
Yehonatan – 9 – “I really really didn’t expect to be a Mahmood stan this year. I wasn’t on team ‘Brividi’ and I was only lukeworm on ‘Soldi’, but this is by far his entry. That beat just slaps so hard! I didn’t think San Remo was capable to this level of upbeat entries if I’m honest, so I’m very happy to this is in the run. The only reason I don’t want it to win, is because Mahmood’s live performances tend to butcher the song, and I don’t need to see another ‘Brividi’ train-wreck on the Eurovision stage.”
Total: 31.5
Average: 7.875
Diodato – “Ti muovi”
David – 1 – “Diodato standing by singing a touchy ballad, but sadly, my focus is completely lost, and I personally don’t care for this song. Just being honest here.”
James – 7.5 – “Remember when Diodato’s Eurovision 2020 entry “Fai Rumore” was a unity anthem in the early days of the pandemic and gave us all hope of peace and a brighter future? That optimism has long been shredded by toxic populism, and Diodato doesn’t quite hit the highs of that masterpiece, which we all thought was special even before our lives were upended. Anyway, Diodato is a masterful crooner, and he again pulls on your heart strings even if you have no idea what he’s singing about. A pity the song itself is not as interesting. I’d love for Diodato to get his opportunity on a Eurovision stage, but I don’t think this entry is his ticket to Malmo.”
Tyler – 3 – Nope, sorry, “Ti muovi” isn’t for me at all. The song opens as if it’s a continuation of “Fai rumore” but even worse, and then into the song proper, it’s slow and sounds like something a lounge singer. It’s four years too late from the wave of “Fai rumore” (that only really got any international praise when the pandemic hit and that performance in the streets came out). It’s over. Turn it in.”
Yehonatan – 8.5 – “The fandom has been waiting in anticipation for his return, and while ‘Ti Mouvi’ is no where near the level of ‘Fai Rumore’, it’s a very solid entry ballad by itself. If only this wasn’t such a strong San Remo, he would have stormed that vote.”
Total: 20.0
Average: 5.0
From the first ten entries, Mahmood’s “Tuta Gold” is in the lead with an impressive average of 7.875. Annalisa is second with 7.375, which is also impressive as our winning entry for most other national selections this season has not topped an average of 7.0.
- Mahmood – “Tuta gold” – 31.5 (Average = 7.875)
- Annalisa – “Sinceramente” – 29.5 (Average = 7.375)
- Fiorella Mannoia – “Mariposa” – 27.0 (Average = 6.75)
- Ghali – “Casa mia” – 23.5 (Average = 5.875)
- Clara – “Diamanti Grezzi” – 22.5 (Average = 5.625)
- Irama – “Tu no” – 21.5 (Average = 5.375)
- Diodato – “Ti muovi” – 20.0 (Average = 5.0)
- La Sad – “Autodistruttivo” – 16.5 (Average = 4.125)
- Sangiovanni – “Finiscimi” – 15.5 (Average = 3.875)
- Negramaro – “Ricominciamo tutto” – 11.5 (Average = 2.875)
Come back shortly as we review the second and third batches of Sanremo hopefuls.
Do #YOU agree with our reviewers’ assessments? Which artist are #YOU rooting for? Let us know in the comments below, on our social media, or in our forum.
