Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2014 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 7 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. At the end of the process you’ll get to meet the individuals behind the personas which includes staff member, readers, forum members as well as true music experts.

First, let’s have a look at the entries reviewed so far and their Final Score:

expert 4 

The next country to be reviewed and taken apart is SWITZERLAND. Sebalter hopes to take his country back to the Finals with his entry HUNTER OF STARS. The question is, is a lot of whistling going to be enough? Let’s find out from the panel.

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5 Points

NONE

4 Points

Oooh

Yes. I enjoy this. Much. The whistles have been pulled off, becoming a cornerstone of the song. It’s a get-up-and-dance-around song, with a real country-funky rhythm. Beautiful. Sebalter himself is suitably eccentric and an able performer, though his live vocals may require some fine tuning, particularly around the lower notes. I am worrying as well that this excellent number may be washed away by some other more statement-saying songs, losing strength in from its light-hearted base. The Swiss will have to avoid vanilla staging, like last year. Break out the violin and the popcorn.

Madame Bogbrush

A fine return to form for Switzerland with this catchy effort. This song makes me want to swing my arms around and whistle my ass off. Despite being a relatively chill song, the drums and violin give it the necssary impact to carry in to “impressive” territory. The singer has a unique and charismatic that makes me smile. My only concern is the live vocals, and the really bad pronunciation. Switzerland just want to be at the big dance on Saturday night. On song quality alone, this deserves to sail through. Great work!

 

3 Points

Judge Mental

Folk and 80s rock do a little dance in this submission from Switzerland. However, since I already know that Sebalter already “feels my judgement”, I won’t feel as guilty about this review. Probably my favorite part of this song is the ending (and no, I’m not just being an ass). I really do mean that this is the best part of the song when ti really just begins to utilize the whistling with hits of the band. If only the rest of the song showed some growth. What I think is missing is some bass in this rather monotonous melody that seems to try dazzle us with imagery, when essentially it ends up losing me. I don’t like the lyrics that make me feel like i’m the one on drugs.
Pope Wilhelm
Sebalter is such a charming man. I love to watch him perform. I would certainly invite him into the church for prayer, followed by dinner, followed by a live concert starring our goddess Valentina Monetta. I may even allow Sebalter to get up and treat us to a performance of his charming little folk number.. BUT only if he were to improve on his vocal timing and pronunciation. Bad timing is a sin. His song is enjoyable though and the whistling is very infectious. He just needs a little work.

 

Alfonso

I hear a whistle. I really hate the sound of whistling. Except of this, the rest song sounds nice, but I can’t get that whistle moments from my head, and this doesn’t let me enjoy this fully. This folk says he’s a hunter of stars, so the world today progressed so much that people go to hunt stars in the universe? Cool. I will ask him to take me with him, I want to hunt stars too!

 

Edgars

Hunting for stars is great tourist draw in my country so I appreciate this entry. I remember one time me and good friend Olaf travel up to Salacgrīva to hunt delicious stars with pot-bellied hope and we is have wonderful time together. I would tell you more but I am ordered not to. Nice reminiscing song.

 

 

 

 

2 Points

NONE

1 Point

NONE

 

0 Points

Pilau Puppy “Oh boy oh boy oh boy. He’s cute. Arf! Arf! Arf! Oh no! He opened his mouth! AROOOO!!!!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CURRENT SCORE: 20

Now it is your turn, cast your vote in the poll below on how many points you think Denmark deserves.

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