Every year our “Expert” Panel comes together to judge all entries for the Eurovision Song Contest and they’re back to take apart the 2013 entries and rank them accordingly. While their characters and comments may be wacky, the scores are dead serious. All 13 panelists will comment on the song and rank them accordingly giving it points using a scale from five to zero. At the end you’ll also get to cast your vote in the poll. If you would learn more about the panelists and to discuss the show, join us on our Forum HERE

Let’s have a look at the current scoreboard:

 

ZZZRanking

 

Today the panel is going to review Germany who are sending Cascada with their song “Glorious”. Did they convince the 13 experts or will they get the thumbs down? Let’s find out…..

 

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5 Points
Emma MagnusonGlorious is the word to describe this song! Who cares if it’s nothing original or it sounds similar to Euphoria (which sounds similar to other dance songs)? Dance music is for making you cheer up and want to dance, not to offer innovation. Cascada are masters of dance music, they surely have better songs but this is great too! I already imagine all clubs of Europe playing this song this summer!

 

 

Barb E DahlCascada is a dishwater detergent in Texas and is used as a band’s name in Germany, those Europeans sure love our stuff. Aside from that I can’t begin to explain how much I love this song. It’s such a great dance song and while it’s not as upbeat as I expected it to be, it will surely stand out in Malmaaa.

 

 

Scotty Too HottyAs I’m sat here with my horrendous hangover, I’m pretty sureI was dancing to this in my local club chatting up a girl who looked similar tothis luscious blonde. Maybe I was dreaming! This is a great dance tune whicheveryone in Malmo will absolutely love! The song is catchy, fast, upbeat andfun…if she performs this well then it should easily top 5! Cascada are prettywell known in Europe so fans of this type of music will vote straight away – Iknow I will!

 

 

4 Points

Dark Master I was hoping to catch them on Eurovision sooner or later and I was not disappointed. While the song sounds so cheap, I have to say I do enjoy it and her as well. My students would be eager to go crazy on something like this, and so do I (when nobody looks, that is). Germany is confident that they can win with this. Hmm, how good must be the feeling to be the chosen one?

 

 

Petronella PoetryA really catchy pop song, this I like lots. This is something to while listen to drinking the shots. Reminds maybe a little to other songs in this genre a little too much to be my winner, but I doesn’t make it that much worse. Maybe the singer can wear an outfit like a nurse? Could get votes you know…maybe an outfit that glow…

 

3 Points

 Alex Chandhok

One of the biggest acts in this year’s contest is going for gold. This is as you would expect – A big anthemic dance number that is designed to get you up on your feet. It’s surprisingly melodic for It’s genre, and puts huge effort into the chorus.  It’s a professional, polished song that will surely reward Germany with yet another good result and, although It isn’t my type of music, Glorious is dressed for success.

 

Glittery S BobI was amused when people accused Cascada of plagiarism after Loreen. Is true it is much the same style, but Euphoria was really a very good song, in turn, Germany comes with a musical cliché. Anyway, I bet we will hear this song on radios across Europe in the summer.

 

 

2 Points

King Valentino XVIIMusic for non royal queens to enjoy. Very typical of music we’d hear playing in tacky bars in Ibiza. This sounds cheap, dated and naff BUTaaa… this a woman has a nice voice. It’s strong and lifts the song. However the whole thing is just so generic. It is feel good and harmless I suppose. Non pretentious. I have nothing against those who would enjoy such a song. I just wouldn’t want to listen to it. I’d rather listen to song from “IL Mio Gioco Preferito”.

Grandpa WatermanIm not young wild and free! I’m Old sensible and free and its too dancey!

 

 

 

RobertAgain an electro-pop-dance song. I’m indeed too old for them. Can’t enjoy any sound of it unfortunally. And it’s very modest to call the song “Glorious”. It’s better to say “Ordinarious” or something like that. I’ll be very laconic

 

 

 

Britni SpirsovicMe and Natalie are good friends, we go way back. We shared good childhood memories and we studied in the same musical conservatory. It is nice to know that her averageness has gotten her this far. Like all of her hits, this song is nothing but average, but I must say well delivered, well executed. It’s so cheesy I can eat it with crackers. She has the perfect voice for pop, dance and the like, I wish her song was not average for high points.

 

 

1 Point

 NONE

 

0 Points

MorenikGlorious?! Try Godawful, this song is terrible! It’s like a musical currywurst, just disgusting to listen to! Someone ring the Merkel quick, tell her to change the song, or else I feed her my Black Forest Gateau, with bits of real forest. Nein nein nein nein!

 

 

Eau d'yre  Lizzy Eau: Hmmm, it must be true what they say about junkfood and empty stomachs.
Liz: What do you mean?
Eau: That stomachs cannot be filled with junkfood, they need to be constantly refilled.
Liz: Ah, I see what you mean. It can get quite boring though, eating the same junkfood all the time.
Eau: Oh you’d be surprised how much people can take. You just have to to change the flavours a little bit every now and then. That does the trick.
Liz: By the way, what am I hearing now? It sounds…(to be continued)

 

 

CURRENT SCORE: 37

 

Now it’s your turn, go to our Forum HERE and vote in the poll.

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3 Comments

  1. Roy van der Merwe

    April 21, 2013 at 14:15

    I would have expected a much higher score

  2. Eau d'Yre

    April 21, 2013 at 14:16

    @Jordan. The expert panel does not exist just to make a nice balance between ballads and non-ballad songs in our top 10.

  3. rajo

    April 21, 2013 at 15:53

    I would have expected a much lower score.

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