DISCLAIMER: All the opinions stated in this post represent the views of the person quoted and do not represent ESCUnited as a whole. We are an opinionated lot with conflicting opinions, for which we take full responsibility.

Welcome back for our second round of Eurovision Reviews! The second of many rounds, as selections are released and increasingly mediocre music is forced down our ear canals. Eurovision season is in full swing baby! Let’s celebrate it by treasuring the trash, and trashing the treasures!

So let’s continue our capricious critiquing for another season. As it is Luxembourg’s turn to pick their entrant (on next Saturday no less), we are tackling them in this post. I hope you enjoy reading opinions because boy, we have plenty for you.

Our rambunctious reviews panel for Luxembourg features the following fiends:

  • Alexandros Voividis – Mr. Congeniality, and that’s remarkable because he’s Greek.
  • Boris Meersman – An angry man with too much time on his hands from Belgium
  • David Popescu – An even angrier man with too much time on his hands from Denmark
  • Daniel “DK” Kennedy – Our new chipper American correspondent
  • Emilija Radulovic – Representing Serbian Diva Behaviour
  • James Maude – An Americanized Brit growing crummier with age
  • Jasmin Prisc – Representing Croatian Diva Behaviour.
  • Rebecca Green – Finally something her Creative Writing degree is useful for.
  • Roy Postema – Our heterosexual cat amongst queer pigeons.
  • Samantha Siegal – We’re welcoming her snark like it’s manna from Heaven.

That’s right, more reviewers than Luxembourg has songs. There’s a lot of ‘pinions to be swinging around, and you know what that means: Nobody, absolutely NOBODY knows who is going to emerge on top.

So let’s dive in and find out, shall we?

#1: Laura Thorn

“La poupée monte le son”

Alexandros – 6.5 – “This song is lovely, and I particularly enjoy the French in it. For some reason, this one also evokes nostalgia in me. The instrumental is good, and her voice is perfect for this kind of song. I love the bridge, where the song transitions from a gentle tune to a feistier and more powerful one. However, I’m concerned about the vocals. The last few high notes need to be more prominent to avoid the song’s downfall. Additionally, it needs a revamp to become more vibrant and engaging.”



Boris – 8 – “This is the one, surely? Laura Thorn brings nothing truly innovative – the cute-fierce vocals flanked by heavy string instrumentation has been a pop staple since Call Me Maybe. And yet, “La poupée monte le son” is a plucky little rhythmic anthem that could pass as the very belated sequel to “Puppet on a string”. Where Sandie Shaw told her beau that she would cater to every whim like a human marionette, Laura has has had enough of her oppressive partner’s controlling ways and turns the tables on him. There’s enough of a compelling narrative there to deliver a clear, contest-ready vision for the Contest. That it’s a catchy, plucky anthem on top of that is icing on the cake. Throw some money at this, RTL, and you may see another final in Basel!”


David –  8– “This is how you make an instant impact. We just jump straight to the point, keep it up and don’t stop! I have to admire a song like this, it absolutely puts a mark. My attention is immediately caught and never lost. Where it might struggle, is perhaps how long my interest might last, this could be one of those songs that you like at the start, but quickly get tired with. It needs some more melody, more reason to return to it. Sure, it’s very upbeat and charming with French even, but the hook is not quite there. Marvelous overall!”



DK – 7-   “I think any song that is produced well has a chance to go far, and this song isn’t an exception to the rule. It may be a bit dated, but it’s fun and dynamic”



Emilija – 2.5 –   “Ooof, with all due respect, this feels like an upgraded, reimagined version of Poupée de cire, poupée de son, and in the year of 2025, this just doesn’t belong in Eurovision. Or, you know, adult Eurovision (JESC could still pass, probably). It’s almost like they wanted to appeal to the older generation while including the younger and the overall product is… well, this. I do kind of like the final bridge?”


James – 4-   ““Its fatal flaw is referencing one of the best Eurovision winners of all time, and failing to understand the conflicts at play there (on top of the dynamics between singer and songwriter that give the lyrics double-meaning) and why it is one of the more revolutionary entries the Contest has ever witnessed. This is a lazy Gen Z girl boss anthem hitching its wagon to an iconic entry that turned the Contest upside down.”



Jasmin – 6 – “This is cute and it reminds me of Loin d’ici but with more character and a stronger beat. Too Disney for my taste, hopefully it won’t be all unicorns and flowery on stage. Maybe I’m too “serious” for this song, I don’t know… There is potential in it but I am totally not the demographics for it.


Rebecca – 7 –  “Immediately gives me very alt-pop vibes—think Marina and the Diamonds, Aurora, that kind of thing. Actually, when I first had that thought, I listened to a couple of Aurora songs to make sure I was thinking of the right artist, and then promptly got distracted listening to those instead of this one. Personally, I think that says plenty about this song. The electronic sounds are very nice, and it has its catchy elements to it, but it just doesn’t really stand out to me much. I will say that I greatly appreciate having a song sung in French that doesn’t sound like it’s stepped right off the streets of Paris and into my ears. France is very good at giving us that, and we don’t need any other French-speaking countries to do that as well. Finally, I think I’m not the only one that noticed one of Luxembourg’s famous winners of the past was also a song about puppets—nothing wrong with overlapping themes and words, per say, but Luxembourg’s current issue is going to be carving out a new Eurovision identity for themselves in the modern era of the contest, and I worry that this one may end up piggybacking off of old memories instead of creating new ones.”

Roy– 5-  “I love the ticking clocks in the song and I love the fact it is sung in French. Unfortunately the chorus does absolutely nothing to make this stand out. It just has a bunch of La la’s and na na’s and they called it a day. It lacks energy and a catchy hook to really get attached to the song. Also it will be a difficult one to stage well, especially on a big Eurovision stage. If Luxembourg decides to send this, they would be making a big mistake and it would look and sound lost within a big lineup on a big stage.” 



Sam –- 6-  “I wasn’t wild about this the first time I heard it, but it’s grown on me. It’s a very decent, very French pop song. The verses have a nice dramatic build, but it seems to deflate a little in the chorus. Given the subject matter, I feel like this song isn’t quite as bold as it could be.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  8 (Boris)
Lowest Score: 2 (Emma)
Total Score: 58.5/100
Percentage & Rating: 58.5% (C)

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#2: Luzac

“Je Danse”

Alexandros – 5.5 – “Okay, here’s another different and unique entry. I’m not a big fan of French rap, but the only positive thing is that I enjoy the rhythm of the song. It has some great elements that, when combined with his live performance, can create a more vibrant atmosphere. However, it’s not a complete disaster, but it’s not my favorite either.”



Boris – 2 – “I am *piqued* by the positive reception this song has received by the fandom. “Je danse” is blatantly modelled after “The Code”, with a fraction of the vision and talent. Where The Code was layered, witty and socially intelligent, “Je danse” is shallow, solipsistic and smug. It is in line with “I.M”, and “Before The Party is Over”, and other rancid “I’m the Main Character! ME!” declarations disguised as songs. So if the assignment was to be Nemo 2.0 like I suspect it was, Luzac has failed it spectacularly.”



David –  7– “The title lives up to the song. However, this might be a bit overkill. This song leads more towards headbanging, rather than dance. I will say, the small bits of “chanson” are charming, and does switch too much nor too long, making it an awkward mix of two genres completely. The song is fascinating and interesting, and leaves a lot of potential for creativity when it comes to performance, which I believe, is what might kill or save this song. Attitude and style, so now it’s all about the impression.”



DK – 6-   “A find the vocal to be a bit grainy with the production to be slightly dated – but it is a fun song that has a pretty clear message. The song builds up but never hits a point where it hits a clear climax of sound. However, I can see the audience standing behind this if the staging is right”



Emilija – 6.5 –   “A bop in French? I can get on board. Admittedly, I was underwhelmed in the verses (still am), but I love the switch-up Luzac does for the chorus. In my humble opinion, the chorus HAS to hit otherwise the song’s not sticking, and I love the more aggressive nature of this one. I can imagine a good choreography to go along with this, too. As a fully packaged product, I really think this could do something in Eurovision.”



James – 5- “The song ends with a lazily blurted “fort,” but change the vowel to another and it would be a more appropriate ending to this stop-start dance number. This entry could of course benefit from solid choreography, but with the flow-blocking pre-chorus and the almost brown notes blasted in the chorus, I don’t see how this mad dash to the Euroclub toilet could do anything but be flushed.”



Jasmin – 8.5- “This got me intrigued from the start and I can say I was positively surprised. The constant changes of pace give it a huge potential for the live performance. French here really works. It’s giving K-pop in the chorus?? Maybe that is just me. It serves attitude and the energy I want. Nevertheless, this is the one if you ask me!”


Rebecca– 8.5- “Immediately captures my interest and manages to keep it through the whole song. I’ve established that I LOVE a good bassline, and this definitely has that. The heavy bass is a great contrast with the playful piano in the pre-chorus, and the way it just EXPLODES into the chorus is really aurally satisfying for me. There’s a sort of… dirty and powerful vibe to the chorus especially, and I find it just so oddly captivating. My biggest concern here is the vocals—I’m not at all aware of how Luzac is as a live performer, but just from listening to this studio version I would be inclined to believe the vocals in the pre-chorus in particular will give him trouble. They sound slightly out of his normal register, which is easy to compensate for in a recording, but not so much in a theatre or arena where you have to project your voice. So yeah, I’m a huge fan, but not quite sold just yet that this is a winner.”




Roy –
9-  “I mean, there is one very obvious choice here! Luzac has a unique voice, the beat is cool with attention to detail. There is a good progression and surprises throughout the song. The chorus is what really sells this song though! It has the opportunity to be an epic energetic performance. A super danceable song that could do pretty well at Eurovision for Luxembourg. Please Luxembourg, don’t mess this one up!”



Sam –- 3-  “I’ve listened to this song quite a few times now and the only part I can remember is: “Je! Danse!” There’s almost no melody. An absolute nothing burger of a song.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  9(Roy)
Lowest Score: 2 (Boris)
Total Score: 60.5/100
Percentage & Rating: 60.5% ( B– )
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#3: MÄNA

“Human Eyes”

Alexandros – 7.5 – “Okay, this is quite unique, and I like it. I always enjoy the diverse entries from mainstream pop. However, in this household, we have a special fondness for some classic Swedish pop dance tracks. This sets it apart from the rest and makes a lasting impression from the very first listen. The choir vocals are simply beautiful. There’s also something eerie about it, perhaps it’s the instrumental, but the overall aura I get from this song gives me a sense of triumph. Ultimately, it all boils down to the song’s staging, which I eagerly anticipate seeing.”



Boris – 4.5 – “”I JUST KNOW THIS ONE JUST A FIIIIGMENT OOOOF // MY IMAAAAGINATION” => The only good line in this Rykka style contraband. It’s so funny that Sam -of all the people- imprinted on “Human Eyes” -of all the songs-. Good on Mäna for securing at least one fan. Her song exists in the Eurovision canon the same way a single nitrogen gas particle exists as a part of the atmosphere. They are legion, fill up the space and ultimately leave no true impression.”



David –  6 – “Vocally very promising, but unfortunately what losses me, is the lyrics. I’m struggling to find a chorus, and the song instead comes out more like a story that is being sung, rather than someone singing a song. Otherwise, this upbeat power ballad, if I may call it that, is very promising. Musically, the mix is really great and enjoyable overall.”



DK – 4-   “A song that has “simple” lyrics needs to have a strong voice behind it, and if the recorded version is any indication of what is to come live, I am not optimistic this will perform well. The song came and went without a true moment of wow.”



Emilija – 4-   “I do hear some Swedish influence in this, but as someone who actually really likes Sweden in Eurovision, this is just not hitting. I do think that the verses are far more compelling than the chorus, I also do really enjoy the choir overlays, they make the song somehow grander, but it’s just not catchy enough for me. It also ends kind of abruptly, if not awkwardly ”



James – 3- “There’s a line where raw and emotive crosses into amateurish, and confessionals into free-form rambles. This song covers a serious topic, but in execution the vocal style comes off like a seven year old telling you about a show with dinosaurs they recently watched. Mana’s dodgy pronunciation of words for effect and to make them rhyme also grate. This could have been powerful, but instead it’s clumsy.”



Jasmin – 6.5- “There is nothing I can say is wrong or bad in this entry, However, I find it a bit too safe. It doesn’t grab me with anything, it’s just there. Maybe the visuals and the live performance could change that but right now, I see this not standing out from the rest. The chorus is pleasant. Even with the amazing live concept, I hardly think this song has enough character to pull people in.”


Rebecca – 5.5- “Her voice and the song in general reminds me of Jaimie-Lee (Germany 2016), which is a compliment because I really enjoyed that song. Um… yeah, that’s about it. I genuinely can’t think of anything to say here. It’s… fine? It’s not bad at all, but when I listen to it, nothing really jumps out a lot. I’m struggling to put words to why exactly that is? The mixing, maybe? Everything kind of just blends together throughout the three minutes. The sort of pulsing rhythm of the vocals in the chorus is pretty cool, but again, it doesn’t leap out at me. Overall a fine song”


Roy –
3-  “She’s got a nice voice and I think she will be very capable of giving us a good live delivery of the song. The song itself however is really plain and doesn’t go anywhere. It has a very simple clappy beat that she kind of sings to. It reminds me a lot of songs you would see in Junior Eurovision. I don’t think that’s what you would want to send to adult Eurovision. Besides, there’s better options for sure!””



Sam –- 7.5-  “This is easily my favorite of the selection, and I’ve had it on heavy rotation over the past couple weeks. It may not be revolutionary, but it’s something to enjoy listening to while walking through the city on a rainy day, having a main character moment. MÄNA isn’t a vocal powerhouse but her voice does fit this song very well.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  7.5 (Alexandros, Sam)
Lowest Score: 3 (Roy)
Total Score: 51.5/100
Percentage & Rating: 51.5% ( C-)

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#4: One More Time

“Gambler’s Song”

Alexandros – 7.5– “I think this song has easily become one of my favorites. The verses are my favorite, and I particularly enjoy his voice because it evokes the sound of older pop-rock songs. However, the chorus is the only part that gets on my nerves because it’s repetitive and lacks substance. Despite this, his voice is impressive, and the energy of the song can be conveyed on stage with the help of pyrotechnics and other effects. I hope they enhance the chorus and make it even better, as it has the potential to become my ultimate favorite.”



Boris – 5 – “*Yawn*. Another bid at generic, mid mello rock you forget the second it ends. Surely not even David would burn himself on this. A case can be made for “Gambler’s Song is bad because it tries too hard to be edgy”, with the singer’s insistence that he GAMBLES AND DRINKS all day (which really ISN’T the flex he makes it out to be), but the song itself is neither strong nor memorable enough for me to care either way. At the end of the day, this dulled edgelord rock anthem equates to boredom foremost, and that makes it another slice of tepid in LUSC’s mediocrity sandwich.”



David –  3 – “I’m gonna start with the bad, and say, that lyrically it is very abysmal. Theirs is nothing that captures me, there’s no telling where it goes and I’m unable to figure out anything, purely because of the lyrics. The song itself is very promising and intriguing, and it is everything that saves the song. It’s fine vocally, but the lyrics just destroys so much.”



DK – 1.5-   “I don’t like to be harsh but I truly believe this song had to have been written using AI. The nonsensical lyrics can understandably match the rock production if the storyline of the song matched at all. Unfortunately when you reference haters, random numbers, and suddenly ending with today being a good day, you are left with nothing of substance”



Emilija – 9 –   “Oh, hello? A well produced, well sung pop rock song? Sign me up immediately. I really think we need more rock and metal bands in Eurovision. This is such a well packaged product that it’s both radio friendly and can do well on stage, and that final high note? Superb! The only thing I would potentially change here is I would quite possibly make it a little more rock and a little less pop, those guitars need to be more prominent, but otherwise.. This is absolutely my vibe and I will be cheering them to win the Luxembourg Song Contest!”

James – 2 –  “A banal pop rock song about treating life as a game of chance and dealing with the sneering of the risk-averse. So yeah, not very original. If One Last Time makes it to Eurovision, it’s a sure bet non-qualifier.”



Jasmin – 6.5- “Haters gonna hate what they don’t understand” – love that quote! However, what’s with the la-la-las in this selection? Every song follows the same formula. I would have liked this more if it had gone full out and it sadly didn’t. Maybe my expectations were a bit different once the song had started but overall it’s fine I guess.”

Rebecca – 6.5-  “I absolutely adore the instrumental of this one. The fast pace and rock sound pair very well with the theme of gambling and addiction, and there’s a hint of melancholy in the chords (especially in the chorus) that also lends itself very well to those ideas. What irks me though is the lyrics—there’s a smattering of strong lines in there, particularly before that last chorus, but the majority of them feel plain at best and cringey at worst. “Haters gonna hate” hasn’t been a cool or original thing to say for at least eight years. Everywhere that the lyrics rhyme uses phrasing that is basic and vague, so they don’t hold much complexity in them. Maybe that’s fine for some people, but lyrics are often hugely important to me, so I’m not a fan.”



Roy –
5.5-  “ “The lyrics are a bit odd and up front. In this song there is quite some energy. Also this song suffers from the Lalala-syndrome. I feel like it misses a lot of opportunities to really punch the song home as well. It could be a feast on the stage visually however and get a better result than people expect.”

Sam – 2 –  “Look out everyone, we’ve got a badass. The lyrics, “Welcome to my life, welcome to the story / About the things that I’ve survived” are not followed up with any specification about the things the singer has survived. The chorus goes:

“I have gambled everything away
Yesterday is gone, I’m here to play
Today is a good day”

To which I say: “Oh, so you’re good then? Cool.” I do not like this song. I do not like this Imagine Dragons-adjacent genre. I do not see this going to or doing well in Eurovision.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  9 (Emilija)
Lowest Score: 2 (James)
Total Score: 48.5/100
Percentage & Rating: 48.5% ( F)

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#5: Rafa Ela

“No Thank You”

Alexandros – 7– “This song has a great vibe. It’s a solid choice for Eurovision, although it can get a bit monotonous at times. The lyrics aren’t particularly compelling, but the instrumental is catchy and makes me want to dance. I can already picture it on the Basel stage with a lot of pyrotechnics and cut scenes. To make it even better, I think they should revamp some of the instruments so they can be louder or increase the bass. And of course, I need those live vocals to shine; otherwise, it won’t do as well”



Boris – 7 – “OMG WIG, FIERCE! Just kidding. “No thank you” is the exact type of pseudo-feminist eurotrash that represents my LBGT (Let’s Be Gay, Thanks) Rights, and I appreciate it for that. It is exactly what it ought to be – not a winner and all the fun bobblehead filler in the world. Works for me, to be honest.”



David –  7 – “I mean, thank YOU, for this catchy beat! This is awesome, like this is how you absolutely invite someone to the dancefloor, where you can do all kinds of fun moves to these lyrics. Perhaps lyrically, it is a bit weak and simplistic, but the very simple chorus is effective and will leave an instant impression. Vocally it also come out as strong, so it’s no just a music heavy song we’re dealing with here, but something that offers a lot.”

DK – 5.5-   “Great vocals with a song that is really about nothing. This is a song that desperately needs lots of staging to match the energy she is bringing to this song. A song that needs staging in order to help bring it up is very hard to manage, so I am not sure how this will hold during the contest.”

Emilija – 6 –  “Hey, for a girl bop, this is actually pretty interesting. The way Rafa Ela uses her vocals to match the vibe of the song is fun to listen to, it kind of reminds me of Gia Farrel (iykyk) and the chorus is especially catchy. I like repetition when it’s well placed and well timed, and I feel like this one is. The only thing I would be concerned about is that it’s interesting enough to stand out in Eurovision overall.”



James – 6 – “So this is what passes for an ethno-banger in Luxembourg? Anyway, at least this doesn’t die at the bridge like its rivals, moves at a decent clip and ends on a chipper note. It has a veneer of vaguely defined exoticism that makes it slightly dangerous for overly white Europeans, but like an Aldi take on chicken tikka masala or a South African SPAR curried Cornish pasty, Rafa’s brand of dangerous will do on a Saturday night in Switzerland.”



Jasmin – 7- “I was sceptical at first but after I had given it a chance, I started enjoying it more. The chorus kinda hits but it sooooo repetitive. I hope she can dance because the song needs a bombastic performance to leave an impact. Sounds chart friendly but it’s a slippery terrain for the live performance. Overall, decent entry and starting point but I don’t see it as a winner.”


Rebecca – 7 –  “This is an incredibly polished dance-pop entry that would be comfortably at home in Eurovision’s crowd these days. I’ve said in previous reviews that this genre is one that I have a difficult relationship with, so I tend to judge them a little more harshly than others—but I can only hope that it means the ones that do stick out will have something worth paying attention to. The bass-y beat is right up my alley, so there’s a point in its favour right off the bat. The repetition of “love me, love me, love” in the verses has a very interesting chord progression that makes it stand out. My biggest qualm right now is that I feel the main selling point of this one will be the performance that comes with it, which I obviously can’t judge yet, so for now all I can do is judge a generic (yet solid) dance track.”

Roy – 7-  “It worked for them last year, it would work for them well enough this year as well. This song is pretty similar to ‘Fighter’. I think this song executes it slightly better. The live-performance will be vital for this song’s success, but this song is more than sendable for Luxembourg.”



Sam –- 5 –  “Put this in a playlist with every single other girl bop that has gone to Eurovision since 2000, and nobody would notice. It’s a standard 2010s style dance pop song, and there’s nothing particularly distinctive about it. It’s not bad – it’s just very mid.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  7.5 (Emilija)
Lowest Score: 5 (Sam)
Total Score: 66/100
Percentage & Rating: 66% ( B )

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#6: Rhythmic Soulwave

“Stronger”


Alexandros – 8.5– “This year, Luxembourg has presented something truly unexpected from their eurovision scene. I’m astounded that this genre of music will be gracing the stage of Eurovision. The combination of Rebecca Ferguson’s style creates a perfect blend of a nostalgic yet fresh entry. However, it’s important to acknowledge that this song stands alone as a unique creation, and I can’t wait to witness their live performance.”



Boris – 6.5 – “This is a difficult one. Obviously the draw here is the strong jazzy vocal and the elaborate composition of a more-than-serviceable Bond-like anthem. Yet, I’m kind of underwhelmed? I’m HOPING for a live that has brings out the charm and warmth I know a song of this calibre can channel (see: “Be Careful” from Lithuania’s final last year which NAILED this) before I can fully hop on board. But “Stronger” is sure as hell more unique and out there than the rest of this mid-as-fuck selection show.”



David –  5 – “In all honesty, does this appeal to me, not at all, but I can admit that there is something impressive here. The band name is quite spot-on even, and pretty much sums it all up. However, in further details, it completely manages to give this certain vibe, and you’re not even questioning what the song is going for. Very honest and very powerful, and that I can only respect. However, it is also about personal preference is a competition like this, and since this isn’t appealing to me in general, I do wish to be generous for what there has been created.”



DK – 5.5-   “Soulful vocals really bring a powerful note that is very Amy Winehouse-esque without the edge. While I find the song to be pleasant, I don’t think it a standout performance by any means. It is fine.”



Emilija – 7.5 –  “I suppose the strong side of this are the incredible, soulful vocals. It sounds very classy, and everything seems well done, but for me I do feel like we’d be seeing another Italy 2012, or Portugal 2021, or Denmark 2024, or… well, you get it. I love the ending, though, that stuck with me and I’ll actually probably put it on my playlist. In terms of entries, I am not really sure this is the best choice for Eurovision per se.” 


James – 5- “If “From Dusk ‘til Dawn” was set in a country as boring as Luxembourg instead of Mexico, Rhythmic Soulwave would be the house band of the Titty Twister. Usually when a band boasts about its diversity, they promise to bring the best parts. We’re promised jazz, Cuban roots and lyrics about emerging from a break-up stronger than before. We end up with some fusion confusion breakfast tortilla dish sold in the antiseptic environment of Costco instead of Salma Hayek sticking her foot in your mouth and pouring tequila down her leg. Juliette Lewis emerged from that pit of vampires bloodied but stronger and more confident. Most will be lucky to emerge from “Stronger” awake.”


Jasmin – 7.5- “With every listening this grows on me. While it sounds a bit dated in places, I can see this song playing in a movie as a soundtrack no problem. It progresses nicely but the low energy beginning may turn off some people. It’s sensual and mysterious but also it’s giving emotion and art. Okay, I’m into this (after third listening, I’m kinda rooting for it already). Worried about the live but time will tell.”

Rebecca – 7 –  “Right away I can see that this song is all about the vocals, and that its live performance will be where it is supposed to shine. Potential live performances aside, this is a really pleasant song with a bluesy vibe, but that by itself is not enough for a Eurovision audience to vote for. It would definitely appeal more to juries in that aspect—and again, I’m back to thinking about a live performance. Yeah, that’s about the size of it, I think. Unless this genre is up your alley (which I would guess that it really isn’t for the average audience member), the vocals will really be what has the most chance of impressing you or at least grabbing your attention. Enough to cast your vote for? Unlikely, but not strictly impossible depending on the competition.” 


Roy –
4-  “The lead singer has an incredibly soothing voice with a nice lazy timing to guide you through the song. The song itself doesn’t really have a hook or something memorable though. I love the brass instruments and the real feeling of the song, but it also feels like she’s just singing to it a bit too randomly”



Sam –- 6.5-  “By far the best vocals in the competition. It’s an objectively good (as much as art can be) song that does nothing for me personally. Unless the vocals were spectacular live, I could see this getting lost in the shuffle at both LSC and ESC.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  8.5 (Alexandros)
Lowest Score: 4 (Roy)
Total Score: 61.5/100
Percentage & Rating: 61.5% (B-)

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#7: Zero Point Five

“Ride”

Alexandros – 4– “You know what? It’s such a vibe-y song for long trips and listening to it on the radio. However, the entire song doesn’t resonate with me. It’s quite Swedish for a Luxembourg entry, and it reminds me of an Avicii song. Generally, reminiscing songs from the past can be either good or bad because people who watch Eurovision prefer fresh songs, and when one reminds them of another, it comes across as repetitive.”


Boris – 5 – “This f’cking Mumford & Manbuns toolshed of a song. We’ve heard this exact type of faux-folk pop, exact type of “we’re never growing up” message, exact type of fiddle-clap instrumentation and exact type Straight White Manchild Energy (derogatory) so many times *in the same package*, especially in Norway. I don’t like to be reminded of mediocre Norwegians by equally mediocre Luxembourgers. Enjoy your *generous* Five Point Zero points, berks.”


David –  8– “Alright! I’m smiling! We on that road trip ride! Serious things, this is just fun, cozy and good vibes. You legit can’t hate on this song. Maybe it’s quite simplistic and nothing ordinary either, sure, but it’s just an absolute vibe! A song that just invites for a good time. A bit country style is always something welcome, plus I’m getting mayor Avicii vibes as well.”


DK – 6-   “Cute little jig, nothing too much of substance but can easily be a song viewers stand behind as a fun high note. Vocals are fine, the lyrics are fine. Eerily reminds me of early Mumford & Sons without the grit.”


Emilija – 4.5 –   “It’s very radio friendly, and it’s very YEEDM. This country style EDM is good when you’re listening and doing something else, background music type of a jingle almost. It doesn’t really go anywhere but it’s also solid and pleasant to the ear, so this falls somewhere mid-ladder for me.”


James – 3- “Dated folk pop rock with enough “oh oh oh” to make it sound like you’d attended a Nessa from Gavin & Stacey Impersonators’ Party. It gets one point more than One Last Time because at least Zero Point Five does their photocopying better.”


Jasmin – 7.5- “In general country music sounds joyful and pure to me. While this song starts great and verses intrigue me, the chorus doesn’t have the same quality and power in it. It’s giving boy band, especially with the hook in the end. I have to admit, I immediately remembered the tune and it chased me during the day and I kinda enjoyed that.”

Rebecca – 7.5 – “I haven’t heard many songs with country vibes yet this season, so immediately this one has a uniqueness to it and a corner of the market covered. It’s definitely more my speed than some of the others in this selection. Maybe it’s just me, but it has a sound that I often associate with Australian music: Sheppard, Vance Joy, and the like all spring to mind. Maybe that’s partly why I enjoy this. It’s got a cozy, pub-band quality and an anthemic vibe that will work great with a live audience. Personally, I really love it—however, this kind of thing is very hit-or-miss at Eurovision. As much as I may love it, I can’t see it winning the national selection, let alone qualifying for the Grand Final in Basel.”


Roy –
6.5-  “This is a nice hybrid of country and electronic music. It’s really radiofriendly and not too difficult to sing and stage. This is one of 3 songs that they could send to Eurovision. I think in modern Eurovision, this could stand out quite a bit actually! I don’t think any other country would send something similar. Is it Luxembourg’s best choice for Eurovision? No, but I definitely wouldn’t be mad at all if this were to win.”


Sam –- 7-  “Hear me out: Mumford and Sons was so 10 years ago, but I was a fan of Mumford and Sons at their peak, and so were a lot of other people who are probably too shy to admit it today. But this song is actually quite good for its genre, and I can see a world where this does better than expected if it goes to Eurovision. I’m also easily pleased by any song ever that features a fiddle – and the fiddle goes pretty hard in this. Harder than any Mumford and Sons song I can think of anyway.”

Statistics:

Highest Score:  8 (David)
Lowest Score: 3 (James)
Total Score: 59/100
Percentage & Rating: 59% (C+)


THE RESULTS:

Our review scores led to the following ranking: This is, according to our census the ranking from best to worst:

  1. RAFA ELA – “NO THANK YOU” – 66%
  2. RHYTHMIC SOULWAVE – “STRONGER” – 61.5%
  3. LUZAC – “JE DANSE” – 60.5%
  4. ZERO POINT FIVE – “RIDE” – 59%
  5. LAURA THORN – “LA POUPÉE MONTE LE SON” – 58.5%
  6. MÄNA – “HUMAN EYES” – 51.5%
  7. ONE MORE TIME – “GAMBLER’S SONG” – 48.5%

Rafa Ela is the surprising winner of our ranking, largely thanks to receiving mildly positive acclaim across our entire panel with nobody showing particular dislike. Rhythmic Soulwave, Luzac, Zero Point Five and Laura Thon all finish within 5% of one another with a more mixed reception amongst our panellists. Mäna places sixth, barely passing. One More Time are the only entrant with an F-Score.

Safe to state that any of our top five would be an acceptable entry for most of our panelists.

But how do our votes compare to one another?

VOTING CHART

As you can see, Luzac as the favourite of three of our editors, but a few low scores bumped him down to third place. Laura Thorn was the favourite for two of our editors and likewise was bumped down by a few scores.

As has been the tradition in the 2024 season, Jasmin enjoyed this national selection the most, giving generous scores to all participating entries. Alexandros, Rebecca and David also have high averages, while Boris, DK, Emilija, Roy and Sam all had mixed feelings. James is the only panelist who outright disliked Luxembourg’s offerings, with a highest score of 6, and an average of 4 out of 10.

Luxembourg Song Contest will air next Saturday (25 January 2025), so be sure to not miss it. Who will join Nina Zizic and Shkodra Elektronike in Basel for Eurovision 2025?

Do #YOU agree with our panel? Who are #YOU rooting for in Luxembourg? Join the ongoing discussions and tell us your thoughts in the comments, on our forum or via our Discord!

EDIT 25/01/2025 – Altered Rebecca’s review for Laura Thorn. It should display the correct text now. Jasmin also no longer has two different reviews for Zero Point Five.

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