Disclaimer: this is a Reviews post – all statements made in this post belong to the person quoted, and do not represent ESCUnited as a whole.
Hi everyone! Croatia pick their entrant on tonight, so it’s time to bring out our critical thinking quils and rant about another set of songs.
We’re rambling, reviewing and raving about Dora 2025, taking a closer look at the qualifiers of the Friday’s heat. We’ve previously done the first eight qualifiers, so check that post out if you haven’t already!
But before we elaborate further, let’s meet our squad of critics for the day, as known by their nicknames:
- Alexandros “ZariNation95” Vovidis, from Greece
- Boris “BorisBubbles” Meersman, from Belgium
- David “Rates Songs On a Scale to 1-5” Popescu, from Denmark
- Dennis “Dante” Dante, from Serbia
- Jasmin “ESC_Victor” Prisc, from Croatia
- Rebecca “Whimsy” Green, from Australia
- “Spicy” Samantha Siegal, from the US
Each of our seven panellists listened to the studio cuts of the Dora entries, and submitted a score out of ten based on the studio cut. The reviews are NOT based on the live performances due to time constraints.
Due to the size of DORA, every panellist only had to write reviews for a predetermined amount of songs, so ensure we get at least four different points of view per DORA finalist.
Were our judgments representative of reality, or are we just a bunch of deluded idiots? Probably both, so let’s dive in and start with a song whose title perfectly encapsulates our being:
LAURAKOJAPJEVA – “NPC”
Boris – 4
“Hooray, more TikTok-coded brainrot for SemiFinal 1, which already has Vaeb and Tommy Cash bouncing around! Exactly what I need in Eurovision’s tackiest ever line-up!”
Dante – 6
“Wow, a bold move! Hyperpop is definitely something that I wasn’t expecting. Written in D Major, and harmonically divergent it is just there to make you as hyped up as possible. Unfortunately, I don’t think it would be a good contender for Eurovision, but a good entry, nonetheless.”
David – 7
“This is one of those songs that I’d hate to admit that is actually catchy, while it sounds like some silly bubblegum pop music. For real though, it’s catchy and quite cool and it’s an earworm, when you hear this kind of music a bit, it will sneak into your mind. Yea, it’s silly and annoying, but it’s fun and happy.”
Rebecca – 4
“I wish I liked this one more than I do, but it kind of rubs me the wrong way. It feels overly pandering to a certain demographic without understanding anything about it? NPC’s are not “main characters from the shadows”—more often than not, they have a singular character trait, an annoying task to complete, and a pretty unimportant role in the grand scheme of things. Depending on the game, they also do get the spotlight from fans. So… I dunno. This just feels like she wanted a trendy way to say “I’m not like other girls because I played a video game one time” and I’m really not into it.”
Other Scores: Alexandros – 3.5 // Jasmin – 6 // Sam – 6
Highest: 7 (David)
Lowest: 3.5 (Alexandros)
Total: 36.5/70 (52%)
MARKO SKUGOR – “STA DA BOGA MOLIM JA”
Alexandros – 1
“Here comes the NETFLIX song of the season. Not mad at it but it goes nowhere.”
Dante – 3
“Written in B Minor, harmonically accurate ballad, unfortunately, as I’ve already written, we’re oversaturated with ballads, and nothing made this one stand out for me as well.”
David – 3
“This seems very local, as in, I have personally no idea why I’m listening to this. That aside, it does give me some certain vibes, such as very inviting towards a scenic walk along the ocean. Pleasant melody, but overall not that appealing. It’s not exactly music I’d just decide to listen to, unless I’d create a romantic scene.”
Jasmin – 6.5
“Alright, I have a weak spot for this… I guess. While this is not completely traditional, you can see the the klapa influences in the music production. Vocal is there but I feel this won’t translate well to the stage. Just like in 2013, I don’t expect to see an ounce of staging and performance. Good radio song, but I don’t see it being at all competitive.”
Other Scores: Boris – 4.5 // Rebecca – 1 // Sam – 4
Highest: 6.5 (Jasmin)
Lowest: 1 (David)
Total: 23/70 (33%)
FENKSTA – “EXTRA”
Alexandros – 3
“Honestly, this reminded me of songs from Grand Theft Auto VI and their Ukrainian radio station. Take that however you want, but this is as truthful as I can be”
Boris – 2
“After years of wanting to represent, Fenksta (he’s a fan and he’s also a gangster, get it? Ha. Haha. Haha. Ha.) finally gets to live his lifelong dream of joining the Eurovision canon and being trashtalked by critics all over the internet for having an uncompetitive rap song that might give Croatia its first ever last place in any Adult Eurovision show. Go for that historical milestone, king <3”
Jasmin – 4
“The intro is way too long and I don’t expect to have some kind of memorable intro into the performance live on stage. He can rap much faster than what he’s showing in this song. The song ended the same way it started… disappointed. Lyrics are nice and people will resonate with the message of the song. However, the international audience would get nothing from this.”
Rebecca – 8
“I quite like this! It has a very early Gorillaz vibe to it (think “Clint Eastwood” and “Rock The House”) which is great. We don’t get much rap at Eurovision, even less of that is good rap and I would argue that most of it is fused with another genre. This is just straight-up rap. Looking at the lyrics I really like them, it has a great message—but herein lies the issue rap often faces at Eurovision. Rap songs often rely on the message of their lyrics, which is hard to get across when not everyone speaks your language, and translating the song ruins the flow and original intent. So it leaves you in a bit of a tricky place. Personally I still think this is great, even without knowing the lyrics, but it could be a bit of a hit-or-miss situation with the general public.
Other Scores: Dante – 2 // David – 1 // Sam – 7.5
Highest: 8 (Rebecca)
Lowest: 1 (David)
Total: 27.5/70 (39%)
FILOMENA – “STRONG”
Alexandros – 5
Boris – 3
David – 2
“Incredible voice, but what a shame it’s paired with a song that remains so anonymous or plain. Melodic, the song barely offers anything memorable and it dries up very quick. There’s no feeling for excitement or suspense, even for a touchy ballad like this. Message also gets completely lost due to that reason.”
Jasmin – 4.5
“It’s giving gospel and it kinda stays in your ear? If it had been in Croatian maybe it would have been a bit better. This way, it feels dry and forced, trying too hard to convey a message of faith and empowerment. Okay, a language switch in the last few second… why?”
LUKA NIZETIC – “JUZINA”
Boris – 8
“I am pleased everyone’s favourite adhd-coded himbot decided to not become normal and boring, and double down towards his inherent weirdness. <3 Tommy TRASH could never! “Južina” is a much more competent attempt than the very gimmicky “Brutalero” was. The problem is: I have the memory of an elephant and VERY vividly remember what “Brutalero” looked and sounded like – and that’s NOT something anyone -least of all Luka- wants to be reminded of. Should Luka win the Croatian ticket (and he’s lowkey their best chance for a Eurovision final so I wouldn’t cross him off), he would need to refine his performance into something fun and authentic, without coming across as a complete gimp.”
David – 8
“The moment the song started, I thought it sounded familiar and it was exactly the person I was thinking of! The genius behind “Brutalero” has returned, and just as charismatic as back then. Luka adds his personal charm to the song, which makes it a catchy tune, despite the language barrier. Maybe not as bombastic as I could’ve hoped, but it’s still great!”
Jasmin – 8.5
“Many people will find this confusing and will be intrigued by the surreal approach silliness of it. It’s authentic and could do well if the stage concept will be right and that is crucial for its success. Knowing Luka, he will think of every second of his live performance. I just hope visually it won’t go over the top. Definitely has a potential to shock the international audience and leave an impact. I’m supporting this!”
Rebecca – 8.5
“This is just wonderful. That bass-y melody that weaves through the whole song is so funky and memorable, and the changes in tempo really add to this feeling of delusion. Also the theme of the song being the Mediterranean wind making you go crazy is just so delightfully unique, and you all know by now that I love something unique. The music video also adds some great personality, and I would love to see a staging concept that captures some of those silly, whimsical vibes. I love this so much.”
Other Scores: Alexandros – 5 // Dante – 8.5 // Sam – 7
Highest: 8.5 (Dante, Jasmin & Rebecca)
Lowest: 5 (Alexandros)
Total: 53.5/70 (76%)
MARKO BOSNJAK – “POISON CAKE”
Boris – 7.5
“The CULTURAL IMPACT of Mileo’s “You’re mine” must have been larger than I thought, because we now have Marko Bošnjak ALSO openly fetishizing about crimes of passion. “Poison cake” is entertaining enough. The ambition, I think, was so emulate “The Code” and its many different elements. The fatal flaw with that is -besides that Nemo is a sweetheart and not some psychotic homicidal weirdo- that “The Code” was introspective and emotionally intelligent, while “Poison cake” is a Eurotrash pulp banking on shock factor. As such, it should be delivered extreme viciousness and vindictive fury, lest it be swallowed by a black hole of cringe. If Marko can accomplish that, he has my blessing for Basel. “
Dante – 3.5
“Unfortunately, the key it was written in – F# Minor and harmonies in the song in combination with his voice really didn’t sit well with me and made a lot of dissonant sounds and distortions. I could definitely live without this song even being in the competition.”
Jasmin – 6.5
“This is not what I expected from him. Overproduced in every way, this song is stifling his vocal and everything sounds so robotic. I see what was the idea behind it. It’s alright but I don’t see him singing this song for some reason. Visuals will be on the next level but overall, it’s giving Serbia 2023 energy and that didn’t work too much. I’m not sure should this be playful, seductive, or intimidating? It’s a weird mix of things and so are my thoughts about this entry.”
Sam – 7.5
“Interesting, dynamic, and will probably lend itself to some impressive staging when it inevitably wins Dora. There’s a twinge of “trying hard to be edgy,” but maybe I’m just nit picking.”
Other scores: Alexandros – 6.5 // David – 4 // Rebecca – 8
Highest: 7.5 (Boris & Sam)
Lowest: 3.5 (Dante)
Total: 43.5/70 (62%)
PETAR BRKLJACIC – “KRAJ”
Alexandros – 7
“I genuinely appreciate the simplicity of this song. From the music video to the song itself, everything exudes a relaxed and effortless vibe. As I’ve repeatedly mentioned, when countries leverage their native languages and traditional instruments to create a song, it’s a recipe for artistic brilliance.”
Boris – 3
“This heat tires me out, and it might be the critical mass of heavy, ponderous, pompous ballads that take themselves too seriously. “Kraj” for instance has base drama and instrumentation, and competent vocals. However, it is temporally subpar – the entire song is a flat line, a 2 minute and 40 second vocal masturbationfest with no variation. Because there’s no moment that specifically stands out, all memory of it instantly evaporates from my mind the second it ends.”
Dante – 2.5
“Another ballad, there seems to be a lot of them in the competition, this year. Written in A Minor, I think the atmosphere he was trying to achieve, and considering lyrics as well, was far off from what he achieved. He could’ve played a bit more with his voice but missed the opportunity.”
Jasmin – 7.5
“Top power ballad of the competition, very rich and soothing vocal. Qualifying easily through the Dora semis and many people will vote for it but is it the real candidate to win? Only if he has something never seen before to showcase on stage. Otherwise, it will stay a well-produced ballad with a performer who can sing it live but it misses the X factor. Good effort from him, I enjoyed it but Eurovision has seen too many of these by now.”
Other Scores: David – 3 // Rebecca – 6.5 // Sam – 7
Highest: 7.5 (Jasmin)
Lowest: 2 (David)
Total: 35.5/71 (51%)
OGENJ – “DAJ, DAJ”
Alexandros – 4.5
Okay, this feels a bit too similar to the last year’s entry, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a bit too soon. Hearing this made me realize how much I miss last year’s songs…
Jasmin – 8.5
“Should I write this or not… oh well, I live in the same town as Ogenj so I can say this is my local representative, and you know what…. I like it, sue me. The ethnic influences are strong while they are keeping their rock identity, simply authentic. The chorus is repetitive for my taste but this has a huge staging potential and is memorable enough. This will surprise many once they get to the stage. I’m excited to see the local band competing in Dora, cheers from Koprivnica!”
Rebecca – 7
“So, I’ll start by saying that I enjoy this a lot. The folk elements blend well with the rock. The lead singer has a great charisma that I imagine will do very well with a live crowd. There isn’t much of a climax to the song, however, which is slightly unsatisfying. The visuals are also very reminiscent of Baby Lasagna’s music video, and coupled with the blend of rock and folk/ethnic visuals I would be careful with how this is staged so that they don’t create too much of an overlap in aesthetics.”
Sam – 7
“A proper ethno-banger. A harder version of the clown song. Again, though, I come away feeling like the song isn’t fully realized.”
Other Scores: Boris – 7.5 // Dante – 1 // David – 8
Highest: 8.5 (Jasmin)
Lowest: 1 (Dante)
Total: 43.5/71 (62%)
And we’ve done it! We’ve rated every DORA finalist. But what does that mean for our overall ranking?
THE RANKING
- LELEK – “SOUL OF MY SOUL” – 79%
- LUKA NIZETIC – “JUZINA” – 76%
- MAGAZIN – “AAAAA” – 67%
- NIPPLEPEOPLE – “ZNAK” – 67%
- EOT – “BYE BYE BYE” – 64%
- OGENJ – “DAJ, DAJ” – 62%
- MARKO BOSNJAK – “POISON CAKE” – 62%
- IVXN – “MONOPOL” – 59£
- MATT SHAFT – “WELCOME TO THE CIRCUS” – 56%
- LAURAKOJAPJEVA – “NPC” – 52%
- NATALLI – “DOM SI SRCU MOM” – 52%
- PETAR BRKLJACIC – “KRAJ” – 51%
- FENKSTA – “EXTRA” – 39%
- MARKO SKUGOR – “STA DA BOGA MOLIM JA” – 33%
- FILOMENA – “STRONG” – 31%
- MARKO TOLJA – “THROUGH THE DARK” – 31%
LELEK maintain their lead and will our editor poll, barely edging out Luka Nizetic. Magazin, Nipplepeople and EoT round out the top five, while Ogenj and Marko B also end with decent score. If it were up to us, one of these should with DORA 2025!
Do #YOU agree with our editors? Let us know on our forum, or visit us on Facebook, X(Twitter), Instagram, Youtube, and Discord.
