Disclaimer: this is a Reviews post – all statements made in this post belong to the person quoted, and do not represent ESCUnited as a whole.
Hi everyone! Croatia pick their entrant on Sunday, so it’s time to bring out our critical thinking quils and rant about another set of songs.
Today, we’re rambling, reviewing and raving about Dora 2025, taking a closer look at the qualifiers of the Thursday’s heat.
But before we elaborate further, let’s meet our squad of critics for the day, as known by their nicknames:
- Alexandros “ZariNation95” Vovidis, from Greece
- Boris “BorisBubbles” Meersman, from Belgium
- David “Rates Songs On a Scale to 1-5” Popescu, from Denmark
- Dennis “Dante” Dante, from Serbia
- Jasmin “ESC_Victor” Prisc, from Croatia
- Rebecca “Whimsy” Green, from Australia
- “Spicy” Samantha Siegal, from the US
Each of our seven panellists listened to the studio cuts of the Dora entries, and submitted a score out of ten based on the studio cut. The reviews are NOT based on the live performances due to time constraints.
Due to the size of DORA, every panellist only had to write reviews for a predetermined amount of songs, so ensure we get at least four different points of view per DORA finalist.
Were our judgments representative of reality, or are we just a bunch of deluded idiots? Probably both, so let’s dive in and start with a song whose title perfectly encapsulates our being:
MATT SHAFT – “WELCOME TO THE CIRCUS”
Alexandros – 6.5
“The moment I heard the instrumental, I knew it had a winner vibe. The video clip complements it perfectly. While the chorus could benefit from some lyrical enhancement to avoid repetition and monotony, overall, I enjoy the song and the band’s performance. Not my favourite but somehow I like it.”
Boris – 5.5
“The ATTEMPT at a worthy successor for Baby Lasagna has been made here, but only half-heartedly. A sad clown plays his tiny violin over a surprisingly limp rock track. I’m not sure why “Welcome to the circus” is as flaccid as it is. Maybe the fiddle’s a bit too strong, maybe the rock instrumentation just isn’t potent enough, maybe it’s the heavily synthesized voice, or the insipid lyrics? A lot of small inaccuracies that lead to a death by a thousand cuts. “
Dante – 2.5
“Written in D Major the chord progression is not interesting at all. He tried to create this circus atmosphere but just ended up creating a creepy vibe in general. I don’t like it at all. Minus points for also using already sampled, and well known, circus music.”
Sam – 5.5
“I have a strong aversion to all things circus-related. I am staunchly anti-clown. Kudos then to Matt Shaft for making me enjoy this. I’m talking about the song only, which is nicely paced and has a fun fiddle riff – I imagine the live performance, like the music video, will involve clowns.”
Other Scores: David – 7 // Jasmin – 6 // Rebecca – 6.5
Highest: 7 (David)
Lowest: 2.5 (Dante)
Total: 39.5/70 (56%)
NIPPLEPEOPLE – “ZNAK”
Alexandros – 6
“I feel like I’ve been transported back to 2004, and I must say, I absolutely love that. Coratian is not an easy language to sing, but in Eurovision, personally, I prefer to hear the native language of a country. The atmosphere was great, and the music video was also quite enjoyable. However, a warning could have been helpful.”
Boris – 9
“This is such a well-produced, quirky synthpop track, on brand for a Yugo niche fave. In an era where the loudest novelty often goes to ESC – since several countries play to qualify and don’t play to win – a high quality, modern indie track such as “ZNAK” is liquid gold that we all ought to cherish.”
Dante – 10
“Nipplepeople for me are my clear favourite. This experimental pop/synth song written in F Minor is truly what made them special to me. Always staying true to themselves but experimenting with chord progressions and harmonies in general is what sets them apart from any competition.”
David – 3
“We really hit the time machine with this song, a few decades back we go! It’s groovy, but it’s also quite boring. It’s very much the same melody throughout the entirety of the song, and I quickly lose my interest. Not much is changing, I mean, the beat sticks, but that’s about it. Vocals are fine, but it’s not what I end up remembering, at the end.”
Other Scores: Jasmin – 5 // Rebecca – 7.5 // Samantha – 6.5
Highest: 10 (Dante)
Lowest: 3 (David)
Total: 47/70 (67%)
LELEK – “THE SOUL OF MY SOUL”
Alexandros – 10
“Okay, let’s stop counting. Send this to Eurovision. I believe I’ve found the next song that I’ll be obsessed with for the rest of the year. This is the ultimate Eurovision song. I can already picture the staging and a top-10 placement. It’s an epic song.”
David – 7
“Mysteriously powerful, vocals wonderfully amplified around the chorus, which adds to the suspense of the music. Fits really well with the body touching lyrics, it’s a special experience. Melodically, I do wish for more, that there would’ve been a certain rhythm as well, which would’ve helped the song stick better to the mind.”
Rebecca – 6
“Ah yes, another “chop the extra words out of the sentence so it still sort of makes sense but fits our melody and vaguely confuses the native speakers” song for me. Beyond that, there’s also straight-up nonsense here too—”broken wings have echo”? I don’t even know what that was supposed to mean. And “the soul of my soul”? I hate to get philosophical, but does a soul itself have a soul? Does the soul’s soul have a soul? What are we dealing with here? I need to stop before I get too far off-track. The harmonies are great and I enjoy the chanting, ritualistic vibe of the song, but the lyric issues are sadly too great for me to fully get into it.”
Sam – 8
“I love this. Vague shades of Czechia 2023 but with more drama. More oomph. It belongs in a dramatic flashback sequence in a film.”
Other Scores: Boris – 6.5 // Dante – 9 // Jasmin – 8.5
Highest: 10 (Alexandros)
Lowest: 6 (Rebecca)
Total: 55/70 (79%)
IVXN – “MONOPOL”
Alexandros – 4
“Okay, to be honest, I didn’t pay much attention to the video clip because all I could see was IVXN and his face. It’s a nice song, but I don’t think a pretty face alone can sustain a successful result here. “
Jasmin – 8
“This reminds me of Filip Bošnjak from Serbia and his songs, follows the similar formula. Definitely caters to the younger audience. It roams between ethnic, dramatic, contemporary, anthemic, and banger. Live performance will be crucial for this one and I feel it won’t be easy to deliver it perfectly. I wonder if he will keep the black & white visual identity because it fits the songs in my opinion. Either way, it sounds current and authentic enough so it’s a yes for me (for now). Can he sing it live? That’s a good question.”
Rebecca – 5
“Oh he definitely thinks he’s sexy, which automatically means I think he’s not sexy at all. This is a pretty basic and generic dance track, with the obligatory dance break for a chorus that I’ve established I’m not a huge fan of. He’s gonna have to do more than stand there and smoulder at the camera to win me over, because right now it’s not working for me beyond a cursory head bob and a hearty “eh”.”
Sam – 6
“An extremely serviceable club banger. “Monopol” apparently translates to “Monopoly” which, like “sand,” is an objectively funny word to write a song around.
“
Other Scores: Boris – 4 // Dante – 7.5 // David – 7
Highest: 8 (Jasmin)
Lowest: 4 (Alexandros, Boris)
Total: 41.5/71 (59%)
MARKO TOLJA – “THROUGH THE DARK”
Alexandros – 2
“Wow, that was so unoriginal I had to turn it off and move on to the next song. Also, I can’t help but say it, it reminds me of another song but I can’t tell which one.”
Boris – 1
” ‘Mend my heaaaaaart, my poor broken heaaaaart.’ are some of the words sung in this dirge. Nothing against you personally, but I hope you stub a toe or two. “Through the dark” is a disgusting theatre monstruosity that mistakes pomp for deepness and sadsack energy for likeability. Marko T spends the entire runtume moaning about how badly his sad little feelings have been hurt, when that’s an occupational hazard of social interaction. The only person those lyrics should be directed at is a cardiologist during a private consultation. “
Jasmin – 6
“If one wants to perform a ballad at Eurovision, they need to be really authentic or brilliant to mesmerize millions of people. This is neither, it is just… fine. Sure, he can sing well live, however this song is linear from start to finish and isn’t innovative at all. Good effort and could bring him something in Croatia but it isn’t a winner.”
Sam – 2.5
“Number 93 on the October 1991 Adult Contemporary charts. Good vocals. Lame song.”
Other Scores: Dante – 5 // David – 2 // Rebecca – 3 //
Highest: 6 (Jasmin)
Lowest: 1 (Boris)
Total: 21.5/70 (31%)
MAGAZIN – “AAAAAA”
Dante – 8
“Reminds me a lot of Evanescence, and it’s such a vibe! I love this entry, as it brings something I haven’t heard from a Balkan entry in a long while. Written in D Major, it also respects metal chord progressions and it’s harmonically consistent. Overall, a solid song that evokes a powerful message with even more powerful instrumentals.”
David – 7
“Interesting and powerful melody, and stunningly performed along to the song. The build-up of the song is splendid, and the way it then transitions into the intense melody is really well done. Maybe the song is perhaps a bit simple, that there isn’t much more to it, but it’s still quite effectively arranged as it is.”
Rebecca – 6.5
“First off, I just need to get this off my chest—how are we supposed to pronounce this title? Do we say each “A” individually? Do we have to sing it like she does in the song? Or can I just give a guttural “AAAAAAAAHHH” like that old Vine with the batteries? Magazin, please, I need to know. Aside from that, this is fairly solid. Great vocals and great instrumentation that makes it feel very epic and dramatic. I’m not exactly sure what it’s about, though. She doesn’t wanna lose her mind—why, exactly? What happened? “All the games they play”? Who is “they”? I’ll sing along to the chorus whether I know or not, but it won’t stop me from wondering.”
Sam – 5
“Manufactured in a lab for ESC. It’s one of the most Eurovision songs I’ve ever heard. It’s so Eurovision it takes its title from the chorus of “Fuego.” Are we sure this isn’t some forgotten 2010s entry they’re trying to sneakily repurpose? Anyway, it’s fine. A nondescript girl bop. Fun, but we’ve heard it before.”
Other Scores: Alexandros – 7.5 // Boris – 5 // Jasmin – 8
Highest: 8 (Dante, Jasmin)
Lowest: 5 (Boris, Sam)
Total: 47/70 (67%)
NATALLI – “DOM SI SRCU MOM”
Boris – 6
“An adequate, typical Balkan ballad. There’s people out there that appeciate the genre more than I do. Personally, I’m a bit saturated on these, even though Natalli puts visibly more effort into her emotions and vocals than Thea Bora did.”
Dante – 8
“Typical love ballad written in G Minor, unfortunately I think we’re just oversaturated with those. Nothing more – nothing less. It didn’t evoke any feelings it should’ve. I can see the vision, but it just wasn’t emotional enough for me to see anything special in it.”
David – 3
“I can appreciate when something is really well written, and this song is indeed that. However, it’s not a song that I care about. Lovely singer, with a lovely voice, who performs the song with great control. Composition is well structured and melodic as it should be. The song itself, is just a genre I personally don’t care about.”
Jasmin – 7
“Another power ballad… I mean, it is good for what it is and she can sing but without amazing stage production and innovation this won’t get far. While I enjoy listening to it, I don’t know what one could do to make it so memorable and powerful to win the national final, and then magic is needed to qualify in Eurovision. Good effort though.”
Other Scores: Alexandros -9 // Rebecca – 6.5 // Sam – 5
Highest: 9 (Alexandros)
Lowest: 3 (David)
Total: 36.5/70
EOT – “BYE BYE BYE”
David – 6
“This is quite cool. From the moment it starts, we go crazy for the entirety of the song, and that hype just never stops. The thing is, it doesn’t quite get me either, because I’m not really moving to this song. It feels like too much of an effort was put into the song, in order to make it something that it just isn’t it.”
Jasmin – 7.5
“Hopefully this is not another case of Megara but I’m here for it! I didn’t expect such a powerful and energetic rock banger to appear in the selection. The chorus is slightly repetitive which turns me off a bit. However, on the contrary, I’m really into the changes of pace, whispery vocals and constant transitions in the pace of the song. It will keep the people engaged and the chorus is surely a crowd pleaser.”
Rebecca – 7
“This is generic as hell, but I can’t deny that it slaps. The verses are the weakest part, and I attribute that to the loss of the drum beat that seems to untether the song from any kind of direction it was taking. The chorus go hard as hell, though. Also honestly? I would throw that last chorus into a key change. It would break up the repetition and add a bit of flavour.”
Sam – 4
“Nine-year-old me would have considered this a badass pop-rock masterpiece. Thirty-year-old me finds it irritating in a way that’s difficult to articulate. It’s so generic, yet trying so hard not to be, and the result sounds like a fake song sung by a fake band in a Disney Channel Original Movie. “
Other scores: Alexandros – 6 // Boris – 7.5 // Dante – 6.5
Highest: 7.5 (Boris, Jasmin)
Lowest: 4 (Sam)
Total: 44.5/70 (64%)
That completes our thoughts on the first batch of Dora finalists! But what does that mean in terms of the overall ranking?
THE RANKING (1/2)
- LELEK – “SOUL OF MY SOUL” – 79%
- MAGAZIN – “AAAAA” – 67%
- NIPPLEPEOPLE – “ZNAK” – 67%
- EOT – “BYE BYE BYE” – 64%
- IVXN – “MONOPOL” – 59£
- MATT SHAFT – “WELCOME TO THE CIRCUS” – 56%
- NATALLI – “DOM SI SRCU MOM” – 52%
- MARKO TOLJA – “THROUGH THE DARK” – 31%
As you can see, LELEK have won our ranking by 79% of the vote, followed by Magazin and Nipplepeople at 67%. Will anyone from the secound group be able to catch up, or do we as a whole endorse “Soul of my soul” as the Croatian entrant?
Tune in for tomorrow’s update, as we tackle the qualifiers from the second heat!
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