YOUR RANKING

[Dodiih]

1. Jamala – 1944
2. Sergey Lazarev – You’re the only one
3. Dami Im – Sound of silence
4. Iveta Mukuchyan – LoveWave
5. Hovi Star – Made of stars
6. Samra – Miracle
7. ZAA Sanja Vučić – Goodbye (Shelter)
8. Amir – J’ai Cherché
9. Barei – Say yay!
10. Zoe – Loin d’ici
11. Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold
12. Jamie-Lee – Ghost
13. Freddie – Pioneer
14. Jüri Pootsmann – Play
15. Ira Losco – Walk on water
16. Greta Salóme – Hear them calling
17. Francesca Michilein – No degree of seperation
18. Ivan – Help you fly
19. Donny Montell – I’ve been waiting for this night
20. Nina Kraljic – Lighthouse
21. Serhat – I didn’t know
22. Joe & Jake – You’re not alone
23. Frans – If I were sorry
24. Gabriela Guncíková – I Stand
25. Minus One – Alter Ego
26. Poli Genova – If love was a crime
27. Douwe Bob – Slow down
28. Michał Szpak – Color of your life
29. Justs - Heartbeat
30. Laura Tesoro – What’s the pressure
31. Lidia Isac – Falling Stars
32. Rykka – Last of our kind
33. Highway – The real thing
34. Nicky Byrne – Sunlight
35. Agnete – Icebreaker
36. Sandhja – Sing it away
37. Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner és Jala - Ljubav je
38. Kaliopi – Dona
39. Lighthouse X – Soldiers of love
40. ManuElla – Blue and red
41. Argo – Utopian Land
42. Enede Tarifa – Fairytale

 

[midnightsun]

01 Joe & Jake – You’re not alone
02 Amir – J’ai Cherché
03 Sergey Lazarev – You’re the only one
04 Gabriela Guncíková – I Stand
05 Poli Genova – If love was a crime
06 Iveta Mukuchyan – LoveWave
07 Minus One – Alter Ego
08 Justs - Heartbeat
09 ZAA Sanja Vučić – Goodbye (Shelter)
10 Dami Im – Sound of silence
11 Barei – Say yay!



12 Highway – The real thing
13 Nina Kraljic – Lighthouse
14 Freddie – Pioneer
15 Laura Tesoro – What’s the pressure
16 Dalal & Deen feat. Ana Rucner és Jala - Ljubav je
17 Ivan – Help you fly
18 Douwe Bob – Slow down
19 Donny Montell – I’ve been waiting for this night



20 Ira Losco – Walk on water
21 Hovi Star – Made of stars
22 Nicky Byrne – Sunlight
23 Sandhja – Sing it away
24 Jamie-Lee – Ghost
25 Samra – Miracle
26 Jüri Pootsmann – Play
27 Michał Szpak – Color of your life

xdownxdownxdown

28 Rykka – Last of our kind
29 Agnete – Icebreaker
30 Enede Tarifa – Fairytale
31 Argo – Utopian Land
32 Serhat – I didn’t know
33 Frans – If I were sorry
34 Lidia Isac – Falling Stars
35 Kaliopi – Dona
36 Francesca Michilein – No degree of seperation
37 Greta Salóme – Hear them calling
38 Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold
39 Zoe – Loin d’ici
40 Jamala – 1944
41 Lighthouse X – Soldiers of love
42 ManuElla – Blue and red

 

[BorisBubbles]

I've always loved this year, so I decided to rewatch it and see how well it holds up after two years.

And it's still an amazing year, even after all this time! Stirling hosting, excellent qualification results (I would swap out Donny for IVAN but that's about it), exciting results, satisfying winner and overall a REALLY strong group of live performances. The star of the whole ensemble is the Finale: this is probably the best Grand Final ever put together and while other years have more funfactor (2013) or better overall song quality (2014), this is probably the GF I'd go to if I ever feel bored with life again.

But without further adoo, here's my ranking (and I WILL give commentary, you cannot stop me)

1. Armenia - IT'S TAKING OVER ME! Iveta's semifinal performance is a contender for single best live performance of the entire decade and that's without even taking into account "LoveWave" itself, which is a downright E P I Q U E entry: Dramatic, tasteful, elegant, it's the perfect artistic entry with zero of the drawbacks (no elitism, pretention or tryhard symbolism). "LoveWave" is also an immensely hard song to sing well and Iveta makes it look so effortless. SHOOK LIKE MY LIFE LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE LIKE YOUR FAVES COULD NE-E-E-VER HAVE!!!

2. Bulgaria - Speaking of downright Epique: meet formerly robbed semifinalist Poli Genova and her legendary transformation into a universally beloved LGBTQ+ ally, Best Ever JESC hostess ("WHERE IS MY DRESS???" is 5ever, don't deny.) and spearhead of the Bulgarian Renaissance, all while clad in airstrip couture . Like Iveta though, the sheer theoretical knowledge of who Poli Genova is should be good enough in itself for a high score on any ranking, but "If Love Was A Crime" is a scintillating piece of Euroschlager on top of that and continues to slap the shit out of the Fuegos and Toys of yesteryear. O DAI MI LYUBOVTA, baby.

3. Israel - Probably the pinnacle of Euroballad if ever there was? For me, a great Eurovision powerballad is defined by three things: High drama, stirling vocals and the live transformation into an emotionally gripping performance and Hovi passes all three with flying rainbow colours PLUS he is a hilarious force off-camera as well, surely you'll agree this ranking is not too generous AT ALL. ^__^

4. Belgium - WHAT'S THE PRESSUUUUUUURE? It's kind of funny that I stan Laura as much as I do because I've met several people irl that know her personally and they all *despise* her for being a massive smug bitch It only makes me love her even more, lol? Anyway, this song slaps, end of.

5. Italy - One of the best songs ever in Eurovision? It's such a gripping, legendary, clever pop ballad and no amount of Animal Crossing Staging or THAT outfit can counteract that. The moment Francesca shifts from Italian into English in one of the few *actually operative and good* language switches is pure unfiltered goosebumps. If the jury performance were to be considered canon, I'd rank her even higher, but it isn't, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Latvia - ♥ Age of Aminata ♥ Putting a ring on the first person who sings this song to me, with the exact same intensity and zest as Justs: I.E.: by *LITERALLY* SCREAMING THEIR LUNGS OUT. Your basic faves could never.

7. Georgia - PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMFEST slaying Basics since Feb2016 Remember when Equinox were like "ZOMG WE HAVE *sacha jean-baptiste* as our CHOREOGRAPHER and she will deliver EPIC FUTURISTIC STAGING" and it was basically a lame retread of 'Midnight Gold'? LEGENDS.

8. Cyprus - I have zero a care that their vocals sucked, I am *RIGHT HERE* for intense close-ups, random wolf howls and shameless metal schlager, MOVE ASIDE BASICS.

9. Austria - I love how the journey of this People's Schlager Princess Zoë Straub can be classified as: "Adorkable Fairy Princess => STONE-FACED SAN MARINESE HELLDEMON JUROR => Peddler of second-rate Siegelified shitsongs" 333 and I adore all three parts equally.

10. Belarus - The gradual unspooling of IVAN's insanity transformed his own "inspire others to get out of depression"-song into a self-indulgent trainwreck, complete with CGI wolves, nudity, and questionable Native American cosplay . And the song has a dope 80s synthpop beat on top of that SHOULD HAVE QUALIFIED WTF EUROPE!!

11. Iceland - Greta's NQ is one of Eurovision Herstory's greatest conundra, but I *think* I've figured it out why it happened: The gloomy staging does not, at all fit the happy-go-lucky melody of 'Hear them calling' and Iceland tries too hard to be something they're not. I get that it turned people off and I am *finally* at peace with it. Having said that, both staging and song are still epic in their own right, so.

12. Ukraine - Are there still people out there that hate Jamala? They need to get over themselves right now because guess what, she's a great winner (voice, staging, message, melody, all are great). Literally browbeating Europe into voting for her with irate yelling "You think you are gods? HA! but everyone *DIES*" not my personal winner, but perfectly servicable and definitely better than the two mediocrities that suceeded her :-)

13. France - Also perfectly servicable? lol. I mean, compared to the INSANITY of 1-12, Amir's main thing is that he's A Nice Guy With A Good Song and I'm just looking-looking for something more exciting. He's helluva charmer though. THANK YOU FOR THE RENAISSANCE, monsieur Haddad!

14. Serbia - A catchy but messy song about spousal abuse by an Amy Winehouse clone dressed in literal rags? That also only received votes from the Yugo diasporia and finished bottom 3 with everyone else I AM ON BOARD.

15. Croatia - Speaking of Messes, Nina Kraljic wig. I mean, she's fine in the semifinal, but in the finale her voice transposes into "Nuku pommiin" levels of inaudible, vocal nuclear poo splattered everywhere. It's hysterical. And she's the ORIGINAL pioneer of the "let's replace an ugly dress with an even MORE hideous dress" gimmick on top of that. WE STAN A LEGEND.

16. Poland - I mean, the absurdity of his snatching 222 televote points out of NOWHERE is reason enough for a generous smatthering with the green paintbrush, but Michal also provided a top 1 interview moment (Wiwibloggs: "your hair is so amazing, how long did it take for you to grow it?" Michal: "30 minutes ") and like Justs delivers his dopey schlager ballad with feverous intensity. WAD KALLER EEEEEES YO LiIIiIIiiIIIIIIiIV *dies from a stroke* WE STAN THIS LEGEND, ALSO.

17. Azerbaijan - Lol I remember when Samra was first announced and I was ready to stan 'Miracle' because lol I'm a hopeless eurogay, and all the Azeri/Turkish fans were like "word of caution, Samra *CANNOT* sing, at all 2"? Lo and behold, that was *precisely* what happened. Her solution? Hire backing vocalists that were somehow even worse at singing than she was ��

18. Australia - YES I DON'T -LOVE- DAMI IM, :gasp: Shame on my gay soul. Look, Dami is *GREAT*, okay? But 'Sound of Silence' suffers from the same problems as other DNA songs: it's insipid garbage (chorus: "Now my heart awakes to the sound of silence. and it beats to the sound of silence. x2"), and Dami is the only thing that keeps this song afloat and careens it away from red status. Now who's the real soldier in the Dami Army here? ��*

19. Malta - Hovi Star's snatch game By all accounts the canonical Swedish entry, once Oscar Zia tragically withdrew from Eurovision after winning Melodifestivalen.

20. Netherlands - a pleasant country pop song, sung by a fun douche. Honestly, the best thing about Douwe is his backstage stuff: Firstly, the strong implication he slept with at least half of the entrants at least once (including Sergey lmao) and secondly: the continued tradition of Dutch feuds at Eurovision, in this case a hilariously one-sided conflict with Hovi: I believe Douwe made one off-hand snarky comment about Hovi being manhandled at a Russian Airport and Hovi HAAAAAAAAAATED him for it and consistently dragged Douwe in *every* single preshow interview, but that's more of a Hovi thing, so.

21. Moldova - You know there's a hopeless song in every year that you *know* will NQ unspectacularly, no matter how they perform and stage it, but you can't help to be charmed anyway? 'Falling Stars' is that song for me.

22. Slovenia - Actually, so is 'Blue and Red', lol? However, while ManuElla is a *doll* and channels some real bargain bin TSwift realness, her act is utter garbage lol. It's a miracle she didn't finish last, but I'm glad she didn't anyway ^__^

23. United Kingdom - Peel back the usual, insipid UK veneer and you'll find a treasure trove of heavily implied bromosexuality. Sure, I'll take it.

24. Norway - A valiant experimental song that is let down by its lack of voice and act. I like it still though lol.

25. Spain - The answer to "What if Sandhja hadn't been completely cringe?" It's hilar that the Spanish fanbase were CONVINCED this song could win Eurovision and once 'Say Yay!' predictably bombed in Stockholm, they blamed it on the English Lyrics YES, THAT'S DEFINITELY WHY!!!

26. Czech Republic - Ah yes, a typical Classy Ballad. Sadly, 'I Stand" bores me' I do miss the times SHE was the best scoring Czech entrant ever lol

27. Russia - This orchestration of this song is pretty rad, but the soulless tryhard act KILLS it for me. Sergey also has zero appeal (sex or otherwise), he's the living breathing epitome of 'The SovBot' to me. How do people think THIS sterile mess could've won? It sucks. And you know what else sucks? :twisted: "THUNDER AND LIGHTNING IT'S VERY EXCITING". :twisted: Yes! I don't even *like* the cheesy, stupid-ass, eurobaiting lyrics Ha! Haha! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!!!

28. Macedonia - The musical epitome of "You Tried!". I'm sure Macedonia's continued efforts must yield a finale placement soon, right? RIGHT???

29. Montenegro - GOD-TIER verses drowned by a horrible chorus and equally horrible camerawork. What a shame.

30. Germany - Imagine having an opinion on Jamie-Lee Kricketz.

31. Estonia - Is there a word for 'negative charisma'? Because if not, can we just call it Jüri Pootsmann, :? No idea why Estonia made him look like a rapist-slash-murderer. Good song, though!

32. Finland - I'LL MUNCH UR BALLS AWAY will forever be hilarious, but I can't stand the embarrassment for longer than two seconds once the chorus hits :?

33. Hungary - A pretty dope beat, but everything else about Pioneer is so fucking stupid lol: The clothes, the choreography, the lyrics, and worst of all, the way Freddie sings. "HEUUUOOWWMAAAAA" stfu Freddiot. NONO Honestly, this should be ranked in red and not yellow, but honestly I have already nearly forgotten that "Pioneer" exists and refuse to carry it around as baggage.

34. San Marino - Of course this tacky, fedora-wearing cringelord becomes an ironic internet meme after the cuntest. NONO Reminder that he beat Greta. We DO NOT stan this 'legend'. NONO

35. Albania - Same problems as Jüri, Eneda is painfully uncharismatic. But while Jüri merely comes off as a registered loser, Eneda comes off as STANK, UNLIKABLE *and* has a horrible song on top of that, so to the Red you go. #TeamWiwibloggs

36. Bosnia & Herzegovina - 100% robbed of Barbara Dex, YES even with Nina Kraljic being present in the same semi. This collective effort to put the most visually unappetizing entry ever on a stage is SUPEREFFECTIVE (Ana Rucner's outfit is especially horrible wtf :?). The staging is ugly and so are they The insidious refugee theming is just the cherry on the poo sundae.

37. Ireland - This could easily be yellow because holy fuck how boring and insipid, but NOPE I have suffered ENOUGH of this fucking BULLSHIT from Ireland to grant them any more leniency. NO MORE!

38. Greece - Stupid leftist trite. Argo aren't even ironically enjoyable: the singing and rapping are horrible. The melody sucks, the act is dull and uninspired. BUUUUUT they are besties with Greece's hotshot president, so they're PERFECT for Eurovision

39. Lithuania - I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE this fuckboi and his awful hair and his EVEN MORE AWFUL HAMMY style of performing. Having said that, I sort of understand why Donny could have fans, but ack it's definitely #NotForMe.

40. Denmark - Let's see: three homely men without personalities but with an awful melfest reject of a song, no style and even less substance? SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT SONG TO URINATE ON LILIANE ST.PIERRE'S LEGACY WITH.

41. Switzerland - Every time I rewatch a year of Eurovision, I listen to Rykka first because *anything* sounds better by comparison. I don't say this as a means to compliment her, btw; She's probably the objectively worst entry to ever set a bare foot on a Eurovision stage.

42. Sweden - BREATHE, BORIS, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Ugh, just *thinking* about this makes me irate. WHAT AN AWFUL ENTRY. I should leave it at that, but noooo we have to sit through this irritating craterfaced twerp with his woeful mockney accent, cheap act and PLAGIARIZED song reeling in jury and televotes alike, no critical questions asked because *gasp* he's from SWEDEN! DIE DIE DIE!!

 

[Clinty]

1. Bulgaria
2. Austria
3. Malta
4. Georgia
5. Armenia

6. Iceland
7. Ukraine
8. Latvia
9. Italy
10. France
11. Australia

12. Belgium
13. Cyprus
14. Serbia
15. Croatia
16. Netherlands

17. Slovenia
18. Poland
19. Moldova
20. Russia
21. Spain
22. Czech Republic
23. Norway
24. Azerbaijan
25. Belarus

26. Estonia
27. United Kingdom
28. Israel
29. Germany
30. San Marino
31. Greece
32. Finland
33. Albania
34. Switzerland
35. Macedonia

36. Bosnia & Herzegovina
37. Montenegro
38. Ireland

39. Denmark
40. Hungary
41. Lithuania
42. Sweden

 

[Mrm]

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[Citelis]

@Mrm We agree on the 1st place but you have placed my 2nd favorite of this year last.

 

[Mrm]

@Mrm We agree on the 1st place but you have placed my 2nd favorite of this year last.

And Utopian land as my no6!

 

[Citelis]

And Utopian land as my no6!

I don't like ''Utopian land'' but i think that it got way too much hate. They didn't deserve it.

 

[hpp0]

One of the best editions ever. Good songs, fun participants, my most favourite ESC show ever and excellent production. Though I have ranked the songs I don't really have a winner I like many songs equally. The ranking:

01. - You Are The Only One
02. - Colour Of Your Life
03. - Play
04. - Loin d'ici
05. - Goodbye
06. - No Degree Of Separation
07. - If Love Was A Crime
08. - Say Yay
09. - Sound Of Silence
10. - 1944
11. - Hear Them Calling
12. - Miracle
13. - Alter Ego
14. - J'ai Cherché
15. - Slow Down
16. - Lighthouse
17. - Icebreaker
18. - If I Were Sorry
19. - What's The Pressure
20. - Ghost
21. - I've Been Waiting For This Night
22. - LoveWave
23. - I Didn't Know
24. - Made Of Stars
25. - Heartbeat
26. - Pioneer
27. - Midnight Gold
28. - You're Not Alone
29. - Blue And Red
30. - The Last Of Our Kind
31. - Help You Fly
32. - Dona
33. - Falling Stars
34. - Walk On Water
35. - Ljubav Je
36. - Sunlight
37. - Utopian Land
38. - The Real Thing
39. - Soldiers Of Love
40. - Sing It Away
41. - I Stand
42. - Fairytale