ESC Ranking 2024

[Realest]

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[AndroZeus]

There are no set rules for ranking. It's personal. It's a choice. Can we please go back to ranking posts?

Of course. My apologies.

 

[aef]

I finally made my overall ranking for this season. Of course changes are possible over the next weeks... I didn't rank Israel and Azerbaijan due to the political circumstances.

1 10/10
2 10/10
3 9/10
4 9/0
(5 8,5/10)
6 8/10
7 8/10
8 8/10
9 8/10
10 7,5/10
11 7/10
12 6/10
13 5,5/10
14 5,5/10
15 5/10
16 5/10
17 5/10
18 4,5/10
19 4/10
20 4/10
21 3,5/10
22 3/10
23 3/10
24 3/10
25 3/10
26 2/10
27 2/10
28 1/10
29 1/10
30 1/10
31 1/10
32 0/10
33 0/10
34 0/10
35 0/10
not ranked
not ranked

 

[Gera11]

My final ranking before the rehearsals. I'm getting major winning vibes from "The Code" but I'm not good at predicting results in May tbf. For me it has that epic vibe that makes it rise above the rest. This whole ranking is giving a 2019 x 2021 mix haha, it's good to be back rooting for Switzerland.

 

[Skrzeczk]

My top10 today

Moldova
Georgia
Iceland
Albania
Latvia
Cyprus
Malta
Finland
Sweden
Germany

 

[RainyWoods]

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06.
07. 08.
09. 10. 11. 12.
13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.
19. 20. 21. 22. 23.
24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31.
32. 33. 34.
35.
36. 37.



Pedestal resurgence Latvia also goes up. UK, Israel and Croatia take tumbles meanwhile. Switzerland retains its 2nd from last placing whilst now sitting side by side Germany as I'm quite deeply perturbed whenever I experience it.

 

[randajad]

 

[Looren]

Update before rehearsals :

1. France
2. Eden Golan
3. Belgium
4. Ukraine
5. Georgia
6. Italy
7. Serbia
8. Denmark
9. Portugal
10. Cyprus
11. UK
12. Latvia
13. Lithuania
14. Norway
15. Luxembourg
16. Switzerland
17. Estonia
18. Croatia
19. Armenia
20. The Netherlands
21. Moldova
22. Slovenia
23. Germany
24. San Marino
25. Finland
26. Albania
27. Azerbaijan
28. Austria
29. Greece
30. Czechia
31. Malta
32. Poland
33. Iceland
34. Australia
35. Spain
36. Ireland
37. Sweden

 

[Navn Navnes]

1.(=) 2.(+1) 3.(-1) 4.(=)
5.(=) 6. (+2) 7. (+3) 8. (-1) 9. (+2) 10. (-1) 11.(-5)
12.(New) 13.(+1) 14.(-2)
15.(-2) 16.(=) 17.(-2) 18.(+2) 19.(-1) 20.(-3) 21.(=)
22.(-3)
23.(+1) 24. (+5) 25.(-2) 26.(+2) 27. (-5)
28.(-3) 29.-3) 30.(New)
31.(+2) 32. (New) 33. (-6)
34.(-4) 35. (-4)
36.(-4)

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Eurovision 2023 Top 10
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10

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2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022 2023

 

[Ezio]

Rank	Entry
1	Greece Marina Satti Zari
2	Netherlands Joost Klein Europapa
3	United Kingdom Olly Alexander Dizzy
4	Ukraine Alyona Alyona and Jerry Heil Teresa & Maria
5	Czechia Aiko Pedestal
6	Poland Luna The Tower
7	Croatia Baby Lasagna Rim Tim Tagi Dim
8	France Slimane Mon amour
9	Luxembourg Tali Fighter
10	Switzerland Nemo The Code
11	Malta Sarah Bonnici Loop
12	Lithuania Silvester Belt Luktelk
13	Portugal Iolanda Grito
14	Sweden Marcus & Martinus Unforgettable
15	Serbia Teya Dora Ramonda
16	Italy Angelina Mango La noia
17	Denmark Saba Sand
18	Belgium Mustii Before the Party's Over
19	Austria Kaleen We Will Rave
20	Germany Isaak Always on the Run
21	Cyprus Silia Kapsis Liar
22	Armenia Ladaniva Jako
23	Latvia Dons Hollow
24	Slovenia Raiven Veronika
25	Georgia Nutsa Buzaladze Firefighter
26	Iceland Hera Björk Scared of Heights
27	Albania Besa TiTAN
28	Norway Gåte Ulveham
29	Spain Nebulossa Zorra
30	Estonia 5miinust and Puuluup (Nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi
31	Moldova Natalia Barbu In the Middle
32	San Marino Megara 11:11
33	Ireland Bambie Thug Doomsday Blue
34	Finland Windows95man No Rules!
35	Australia Electric Fields One Milkali (One Blood)

 

[Ezio]

Israel of course would be my number 1, and Azerbaijan by number whatever

 

[hpp0]

01. 02. 03. 04.
05. 06. 07.
08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.
15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21.
22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27.
28. 29. 30. 31.
32. 33. 34.
35. 36. 37.

 

[ESC94]

Had to adjust my ranking.

 

[ati0111]

1. Lithuania
2. Belgium
3. Croatia
4. Slovenia
5. Switzerland
6. Germany
7. Czechia
8. Estonia
9. France
10. Armenia
11. Norway
12. Latvia
13. Austria
14. Serbia
15. Cyprus
16. Poland
17. Ireland
18. Netherlands
19. Israel
20. Luxembourg
21. Italy
22. UK
23. Azerbaijan
24. San Marino
25. Sweden
26. Portugal
27. Ukraine
28. Georgia
29. Australia
30. Denmark
31. Albania
32. Finland
33. Malta
34. Moldova
35. Greece
36. Spain
37. Iceland

 

[BorisBubbles]

Locking these in, I'm comfortable with the order.

01. Croatia- Spectrum-tinged anxiety king. With no Loreen, surely the Käärijä wins this time around, right?

02. Switzerland – Mashing up Habanera with Die holle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen to simulate stress and doubt is really clever, and then they transition into an epic rap break and the best climax of the season. The “stumbling through mental blockages to find self-love and acceptance” dynamic really comes through and turns it into a MOMENT.

03. Norway - I think most of us GASPED when we saw the first ever good use of a lazy susan in Eurovision. Too many people are sleeping on this roided-up Strazdas. Mother is calling to her children, and her children will answer with a top five in the televote.

04. Austria - The Yass Slay Queen of Millennial Monroehood.

05. Poland - Witcher hour Maggie Burger. Basic synthpop is my happy place, and can’t make me leave, made extra relatable because Luna is as good at playing chess as I am.

06. Spain – Really good Italo-Disco made even better by Mery Bas’s COMMANDING PRESENCE over both stage and crowd (that crowd better mobilize for her en masse in Sweden) despite descernably little singing talent She really just is the Urmutter from which all useless gays sprang isn't she. Cannot WAIT for their result to be a complete reverse of Eaea. (five jury points total, tenth in the TV )

07. Estonia - Narcotics-tinged Trenuletul bangs even harder than the Moldovan original. lmao at certain individuals thinking this NQs. Who’s will cue them in?

08. Italy - "La noia :stockfootage trumpet noise: la noia :stockfootage guitar noise:" Still hilarious that something this cheap-sounding won San Remo but Angelina slays so you BETTER GIVE HER AS HIGH A PLACEMENT AS YOU DID MARCO.

09. Lithuania - this placement feels EXCEEDINGLY low for an entry that bangs this hard, but i mean, this is the most top-heavy line-up in since 2016, so

10. Slovenia - It's Raiven, and the instrumentation is epic. I really WANT good things to happen to her, but it doesn't take away that Veronika builds into a pause, and lacks a show-stopping moment to fully give it closure. That said, Slovenia always qualify when I stan them, so…

11. San Marino - Unlike the EBU I have respect for the powers that be. Besides 11:11 also just... bangs? The flamenco break the demon dancers the fact this will get double digits because Spain are voting in the semi.

12. United Kingdom - Unassuming electropop that succeeds at articulating exactly what I want / need / am missing from my love life NOW STOP HARRASSING HIM YOU FUCKING MISERABLE TWATS.

13. Armenia - Folkloric peasant wedding music always has a place in my heart.

14. Malta - Honestly a small miracle that Malta even picked a good song, let alone the SECOND BEST girlbop in the year (I do not count La Noia as one :3)

15. Ukraine - LESS epic at Vidbir due to the lack of staging and Jerry being flustered after her monitor flopped, plus that rap break feeling like an eternity, but the adjustments made in Sweden will alleviate most of these problems, surely.

16. Australia - We're on a gravitron as it tangles through them billions of arseholes and angels~ What does any of this nonsense even mean It’s 100% the word salad that’ll do them in, and not homophobia, or racism or ageism or whatever the motivations for Eurovision tories are to dogpile even more dismissive hoodoo upon what is a critically underrated EDM track.

17. Portugal - Grito goes very hard in studio but Iolanda holds back in the live and that strands it at "merely good". BELT, WOMAN. Your song demands it.

18. Ireland - Will say that they're a witch, won’t say that they're a BEEP BEEP BEEP.

19. Denmark - "SAND. SAAAAAAND." is an amazing hook, and while this song is about 10 years behind the curve, it DOES have that Eurovision Sound we love to bop our necks to.

20. Germany - Slightly higher on the BorisBubbles scale for Germany, slightly higher on the Finale scoreboard than the average German entry (third last, over Slovenia and Finland)

21. Iceland - It's Hera Björk.

22. Latvia - ET goes Hozier.

23. Czechia - PUT MAH-SELF. ONAPEDESTUL~ a really fun hook for this anxiety ridden Avril tribute, but Aiko already has become eponymous with terminal vital capacity in my mind, and so I have no hopes other than a few laughs at her expense.

24. Luxembourg - Fun enough filler and not a bad effort considering how dire LUSC was, but this is effectively a second Israeli entry and ack. Why could we not have had THIS ONE for Israel instead? Was a Set Me Free 2.0 really that much an ask from that awful country?

25. Azerbaijan - Perfectly cromulent as a song. Fits the bill of 2024 being very ethnic and very authentic, and also not very competitive.

26. Netherlands – A musical rash- it creeps on you and it’s highly irritating but at least half of the irritation is his offensive hair and Youtuberesque facial locomotion. The other half of the annoyance kind of.. works? Maybe the way to stage this really just is as simple as Bag Over Head.

27. Belgium – Are you still playing the game or playing the rules?! Good too know Mustii’s parties always wrap up exactly like boardgame nights with the friends after they found out I cheated. I am still amazed that RTBF managed to round up a bunch of fans (which included Jacotte Brokken for some reason?) and gaslit them into praising a nonsense anthem that builds up veeeery slooowly into a climax that is honestly not even that good.

28. Greece - Lowkey a really bad and cacaphonous song carried hard by its well-produced music vid. But I also value my life so I will wait until the semi to justify its low ranking. (unless the staging is brilliant ofc)

29. Sweden - "SHE'S UNFORGETTABLE" :terminally forgettable antichorus:. Legit forgot this one on my initial ranking. The M&M fangirls will be so confused when Sweden’s TV score is revealed as lower than that of Lord of the Lost.

30. Moldova - There is something notionally very funny about Natalia Barbu scream-singing I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOUR LIFE with barely restrained menace, but she also threatens Slovenia's qualification chances and that's a more pressing matter for this Raivenhead.

31. France - Slimane has a very powerful voice.

32. Serbia – Nice floordrops, beautiful floordrops.

33. Georgia – She is almost too good for her song. It irks me that Georgia managed to compose a party anthem that is neither rhythmic nor catchy or fun, and is laced with the same deliberate grammatical inaccuracies Echo had ‘cause meeeeemes. How did Nina Sublatti become Georgia’s Nuclear Gandhi? If you want an example of what "not understanding the assignment" sounds like, listen to Firefighter.

34. Cyprus - LIAR LIAR LIAR YEAH YEAH YEAH YOU LIE IE IE IE YEAH YEAH YEAH -- actual chorus of a hand-me-down so poorly manufactured it was rejected by Greece over VICTOR VERNICOS.

35. Albania - Albanian devamps are often overhated but this one absolutely deserves it. The accelerated chorus at the end, which was the BEST PART OF THE ORIGINAL is a slap in the face of anyone that liked the original (myself, LaVER and rainywoods)

36. Finland - It will be a joy to see this con artist plummet from 5th-7th in the heat to bottom 2 in the Grand Final.

37. Israel – A pity-me ballad engineered to curry sympathy votes. Whoop-dee-doo! Such songs are woefully unselfaware under any circumstance (and that’s why they always lose NFs). Pray that Hurricane also loses ESC because if it were to win after the shitstorm its inclusion brought over us, future Eurovisions shall become so small they will no longer require semis to determine their finalists.

 

[BernadetteCydonia]

^ That should do for me who always looks forward to your reviews year after year on your Tumblr blog, these lil lines of writing + what you've said about the songs on their respective threads are a nice read and I am content with it.

 

[randajad]

 

[ESC94]

Another update.

 

[GermanBango]

Well I shall try ...

The ones that will end up on my playlist
X




The ones that I find somewhat enjoyable



The meh ones


The either annoying or simply uninteresting ones



The ones straight from the gutter

 

[Sammy]

I finally made my overall ranking for this season. Of course changes are possible over the next weeks... I didn't rank Israel and Azerbaijan due to the political circumstances.
not ranked
not ranked

you‘re one of the few (and the only one that I‘m aware of) who is consistent in his argumentation in this question.